What ever happened to the 80’s? « Mike Villar: Rising Internet Star

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What ever happened to the 80’s?

Wednesday, July 6, 2005

A lot of people say
that the 80’s was the most enchanting
decade there is. And although I see it as a time of musical tumult
where glam rock queens and the likes of Johnny Rotten (Sex Pistols) and
Gene Simmons’ (KISS) grotesquely infamous tongue were at their
collective peaks kicking; there are still a lot of things I miss from
the 80’s apart from the tight-fitting leather pants and teased hair
that warranted people to brandish a sort of “Hey, look at me, I fucking
rock, I wear eyeliner and I’m pretty as a pony” attitude. Back in
the 80’s, there were a lot of fads that caught fire, enjoyed a period
of prominence, and then were supplanted by more “hip” crazes.
These are things that I genuinely enjoyed as a kid and looking
back, I can’t help but snicker
at the thought of me wearing neon socks with my mighty kids and
listening to Axl Rose screech like a speared warthog on my Sony
walkman.

I vividly remember the new year’s eve of 1989; while blankly staring
out the window, amid the fireworks and the pungent odor of gunpowder
that suffused the night air came the realization that 1989 was just
about over. Sprawled on the bloodied floor like a gut -shot
animal, 1989 clings to the precious few hours of existence it has left
somehow unaware
of its imminent doom. Soon a new decade will dawn and people would look
back at the
sepia images of the 80’s and realize that it went by too fast.

Let’s take a look at the fads from the 80’s we were all
crazy about; the things we wished would stay forever (or never come back) and
altogether ask “What ever happened to the 80’s?”

The Care bears

The Care Bears are a group of colorful, furry friends each
with a special caring mission. They help teach people how to care. Every Care
Bear was endowed with a bright-colored emblem on their tummies that basically
describes who they are and what their special area of caring is.Who could ever forget Tenderheart bear, Cheer
bear, Funshine bear, Do your best bear, Share bear and the rest of the
gang?They live in the clouds in a
castle called Care-a-lot.

What ever happened to them you ask?“Who cares? Care bears?”

Rainbow Brite

Young girls growing up in the 80’s know
all about this craze. Almost every little girl had a Rainbow Brite
Doll, a Rainbow Brite watch, a Rainbow Brite lunchbox, a Rainbow Brite panty or
what not and watched the cartoon series that went along with it.

Just looking at Rainbow Brite’s choice of couture
makes you feel like you’re staring directly at the sun, if you stare at her for
extended periods of time, you’d inflict severe injuries to your eyes.She has rainbow colored socks, rainbow
colored sleeves and an annoyingly colorful belt that supposedly possesses
magical qualities.Rainbow is your
typical girl encumbered with the responsibility of looking after our besieged
planet.She performs uber-important
missions such as saving a sun-drenched wheat field from losing all its yellow or to save a
rain-starved forest from losing its green. She colors things by scattering the
“Start Sparkles” which become magical only when sifter through
Rainbow’s very own fingers. Along with her horse, Starlite and her helpers, The
Color Kids (who have annoyingly weird names like Patty O Green, Buddy Blue, and
Lala Orange), Rainbow Brite brings hope and happiness to all; or at least those
who dare watch.

Wrestling

Admit it, there’s always a testosterone rush that goes along
with seeing half-naked men slam each other around.I was a wrestling fan and I will tell you
that all the stereotypes about wrestling fans are true.We are loud, have body odor, and totally into
the show. We were the kind of crowd that would vote for Adolf Hitler if he
somehow returned from the grave and promised free beer and wrestling for
everybody.Well come to think of it, I
think we were the type of crowd who would vote for Adolf Hitler regardless of
his political platform but I digress.

Wrestling has made a comeback lately but nothing could ever
compare to the wrestling superstars of the past.Who could ever forget Hulk Hogan, Ultimate
Warrior, Machoman Randy Savage, Andre the giant, Brutus the barber beefcake and
Jim the hammer valentine? They were the real deal baby!

What ever happened to them?They’re now among the rednecks filing out of the bingo hall on Sundays
that form a great big line snaking all the way back to their respective trailer
parks.What can I say? They’re washed
up.

Rubik’s Cube

It is
said that there are 43 quintillion possible combinations for solving the
Rubik’s Cube.Inventor Erno Rubik
patented this cube initially as an educational instrument for teaching his
students about 3D Objects but made millions selling it as a toy instead.The world record for solving the cube is 16.5
seconds and my personal best was 12 days and that’s with my dad helping me out.

Video Arcades

There
are still a lot of video arcades today but back in the 80’s it was the “in”
place to be.This is where guys used to
take girls out on dates and I can’t blame them, who could resist asking a girl
whether or not she wants to “play with my joystick, and press my buttons?”Very phallic indeed and I bet it made a lot
of guys giddy back then.In the 80’s I
remember playing games like Berzerk in the video arcades Just
passing a Berzerk machine was a new
experience for most people. The machine actually spoke! Few people had
experienced voice-synthesis at the time, and it made quite an impression.

Another game popular during those times was Pacman.The game was simple;
PAC-Man had to eat all the dots in his maze, staying alive by running from
ghosts, called Galaxians, found in the maze. If PAC-Man ate a giant dot, he
could eat his ghostly enemies. To regain strength, he needed to eat floating
fruit in the maze.

And who could ever forget the classic Missile
Command? This game was designed during the 1979 US
presidential race; Missile Command was a clear manifestation of America’s
fear of nuclear holocaust.The game
involved having to intercept incoming missiles and protecting the cities around
your base.

Another classic game is Donkey Kong;
Donkey Kong featured brilliant game play and a whimsical storyline about a
giant ape and a curious character referred to only as “Jumpman.” It
would not be until after the game’s design and construction that Jumpman would
receive the now-famous name “Mario” who would then proceed to make a
legend of his own.

Smurfs

Smurfs were blue elflike creatures, dwelling happily in the forest.
Creatures with names like Jokey, Greedy, and Brainy Smurf. They went through
adventures, sought advice from Papa Smurf and found themselves captivated by
the perky Smurfette, the only female in the clan. At their peak, the Smurfs
outsold Star Wars, Garfield,
Snoopy, Annie and even Mickey Mouse.

Boom
Boxes

These oversized radios were popular with
the youth of the early and mid-eighties because they played music so loud.They eventually came with dual cassette and
CD players and used 8 “D” cell batteries to power the big speakers.
Some had a special Bass Boost button that would make the boom boxes even louder
and more annoying to most who could hear them. This fad is still popular with
some young people because the new boom boxes come with MP3 players.

Hairspray and Big
Hair

Big hair is not unique to the 80s - the 60s had the beehive
and the 70s had the afro. What set the 80s hair styles apart was their
diversity. The start of the decade saw the extravagance of strange hair colors
and cuts. By the mid-80’s the trends had settled and focused on one simple
concept - volume. More hair was better. Bananarama had some of best examples of
80s hair - pretty much reflecting the fashions of the decade from cuts styles
to volume and flicks. The ‘Hair Bands’ of the 1980s applied this style which
was strongest around the late 80’s. Your hair could go up, out and down as long
as it wasn’t straight - this was the ultimate sin in the early 80’s.

What made all of these possible? Hairspray!And we know who to blame for the gaping hole
in the ozone layer too.

Break Dancing

Remember the parachute pants and
cardboard boxes that dancers would gyrate themselves on? Break dancing seems so
different from all other kinds of dancing that the first question people ask
when they see it is: “Where did these kids learn to dance like that?”
In 1969, when James Brown was getting down with his big hit “Get on the
Good Foot” the Hustle was the big dance style of the day. When he
preformed his hit, he did the kind of dance you’d expect James Brown to do.
High Energy. This eventually, evolved into break dancing.

Hyper Color Shirts

These were the “thermo” shirts that changed color
when the person was warm or cold. They were a base color, like pink or blue.
Wherever your body was hot (sweaty), the shirt would change color in that area
to orange (pink shirt) or pink/purple (blue shirt). Very trendy indeed!

Holes in pants

This was a technique we did to enhance our jeans. We would
cut holes in the butt, just below the underwear line and let our cheeks peek
out. It’s also trendy to put holes in the knees, thigh, butt, usually worn with
pumps and bobby socks. Nice look!

Harem Pants

Every girl who had the fortune of being in high school
sometime in the late 80’s had at least 12 pairs of harem pants. They were baggy
pants, tapered at the ankle, sort of like MC Hammer pants, but the on the side hip/thigh
areas were two flaps that buttoned at the waist area. It looks even cooler when
wearing hoop earrings with a key on one of them ala Janet Jackson of old.

Shoulder Pads

This was a good look. Not only did every single piece of
women’s dress clothing come styled with gigantic, linebacker-size built-in
shoulder pads, T-shirts and sweaters were equipped with them, too. If an item
was sold sans-pads, never fear! Shoulder pads could be purchased in pairs and
then fastened around your bra straps with a piece of velcro. You wouldn’t be
caught dead without shoulder pads: dressed up or down, they were worn with
absolutely everything.

Thanks to Crazy Fads!

Posted by mikey at 1:12 AM | permalink

Previous Comments

Ha! I used to have a Rainbow Brite quilt cover. But you missed out He-Man and She-Ra! And the Care Bears only rocked because they had the Care Friends or whatever they're called. Braveheart - the lion was my favourite and I always wanted the soft toy of him. Alas, I never did receive him.

RYC: Yes, War of The Worlds was really good. Very very intense! I sat there going "ohmigod ohmigod ohmigod" for most of it. lol I know what you mean about the whole Tom Cruise thing… I was hesitant to watch this because of him but believe it or not- I was able to forget it was TOM CRUISE after a while which doesn't always happen in his films. The ending was weak because it wasn't explained very well… and it's more a story of one family instead of a global "let's kick the aliens' asses!" kinda thing a la ID4.

Posted by Jen at July 6, 2005, 9:46 am

Oh yeah; Braveheart used to be my favorite too and I DID have a stuffed toy of him!

Well what I meant about Tom Cruise was every movie he makes has to have a movie poster with his goddam face occupying 90% of the damn thing. Look at one of the poster he has for WOTW; his face is covering up most of Dakota Fanning's.

I'll watch it this weekend. cheers jen.

Posted by Anonymous at July 6, 2005, 9:58 am

my first ever collection was my care bears sticker album back when i was still in grade school, the smurfs decorated my lunch boxes for 3 years. and i love 80s music!

by the way, i love your blog! got here thru toni.

Posted by jey at July 6, 2005, 10:45 am

and there's also shaider… ang pulis pangkalawakan. ahehehe. i love entries like this, they're so much fun to read. ^_^

Posted by pao at July 6, 2005, 7:45 pm

Dang. The '80s. I wish I could get into a time machine and just go back to that decade. I was a kid in the '80s so I never really got to fully appreciate its magic. I still pine for the Care Bears though (they made a comeback!) and Rainbow Brite. And yeah, Smurfs, Atari… Missile Command… oh man, the '80s was a REALLY great time. I'm getting all nostalgic now…

Posted by Toni at July 6, 2005, 9:30 pm

Hi Jey

Pao oo nga si Shaider! at si Annie na kita Panty! hehehe

I was Gradeschool back in the 80's…Gradeschool teacher heheh. seriously, I was born in 1982 so I was seven when it was 1989, but hell I miss alot of stuff from that decade

Posted by Anonymous at July 6, 2005, 10:02 pm

Funny entry. Was laughing all by myself here. hahaha.

Was bagets in the 80s? The one where they all wore "de Colores" outfits na feeling colorblind sila lahat? Also with those soft padded sneakers stuff?

Gusto kong patayin ang mga smurfs. hahaha.

Posted by Midori-X at July 7, 2005, 12:58 am

Bagets!? Oo yata hahahaha sobrang kulay nga nila noh?

Posted by Mike at July 7, 2005, 1:00 am

For some reason I don't remember, I really hated the smurfs.

Was it the 80s that the song "just got lucky" played over and over and over? Complete with dance steps pa yon hahaha.

Posted by Midori-X at July 7, 2005, 1:03 am

hahaha oo; ano nga ba yung bagets theme song? ayos kaya yun!

Posted by Mike at July 7, 2005, 1:06 am

how about the songs in that year? ung new wave sikat d b? i like the song motion of love b yun? by gene loves jezebel, thanks mike for taking us to 80s memory lane.

Posted by dwin at January 19, 2006, 9:01 pm

i loved rainbow brite! twas my favorite cartoon ever!!! at the same time, i hated the smurfs!!! ever wondered how many they were, and then noticed that there was only one smurfette? how'd the fuck they reproduce anyway?

Posted by diane at February 2, 2006, 11:50 am

parang wala atang nakakaalala kay combatron at funny comics….. 80's ba yun o early 90's hahahah

Posted by macro at February 20, 2006, 7:24 pm

wow that was one hell of a ride back to 80's. damn i miss those times coz i was an 80's kid so practically experience all of it. and the fact we all watch the carebears, smurf, shaider, etc is for the fucking reason we don't have cable's yet! but heck i enjoyed being a 80's kid. i still remember the first time the family computer and the freaking brick game came out every kid in the neighborhood had them. o well those were the days….. it makes you look back and think….. damnit im getting older every year!!! harharhar

Posted by purple at March 2, 2006, 1:42 am

hmmm… carebears all died of AIDS…. they're so sickening… and the smurfs… hmmm… all guys and only one smurfette… how do they reproduce??? orgy?? i think the artist Peyo didn't take that into consideration… hmmm… don't they have a vanitysmurf too???

frankly, I hate the 80s… it's the blackhole of the 20th century… the most dislocated decade!

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