I was born a writer/artist and nobody could contest that-NOBODY.

Wednesday, July 13, 2005

I’m
not entirely sure when my mom started doing this, but sometime within
the last decade, she started this weird habit of collecting random,
inconsequential things from my childhood for me.I do not want to think
about what her motivation for doing so might be or even delve into
details of the stuff she saves but sometimes I don’t have a choice.You
see, my mom fancies this rather mortifying trip down memory lane as an
opportune activity to bond with me.I don’t get it, I really don’t.I
mean while most parent-son bonding sessions involve full body massages
at spas, drinking beer, shopping, or gardening; here I am looking at
random things that have little to no significance in my life.


Today
we sat down at the decrepit kitchen table, the very same table where I
ate thousands of cholesterol laden meals as a kid, to look at this
week’s dose of nostalgia and weekly heap of junk.Among the items are: A
lock of my baby hair, Flyers for summer swimming lessons, a faded Ogie
Alcacid casette tape, expired SM department store gift certificates, a
picture of myself and my ultimate grade school crush, Jane Sebastian
doing some stupid aerobics shit, three paper clips, old McDonald’s
coupons, grade school test papers and art projects.


Now
those roused my interest a bit.The test paper mom found was actually
one of the first English essays I wrote and the crayola disaster of an
art project was one of my first futile attempts at doing something
creative.I made both of these when I was seven years old; the time when
my scholastic career seriously began to go downhill and never ever
recovered.This is the time when prepubescence was taking its dreadful
toll on me.


I
have taken the liberty of scanning the said papers for public exhibit
with the knowledge that it would seriously damage my reputation, lead
people to doubt my sanity, and ruin any chances of me landing a better
paying job or passing any type of psychiatric evaluation in the
future.I’m a blog whore like that I guess…

(Click on the thumbnail for the full sized picture)

What I would do to save the trees

Trees
are important because they transform oxygen into carbon dioxide.Without
trees we die.I don’t like people to die most important my love of my
life Joyce Sebastian.Jefferey likes to love Joyce Sebastian too but I
punched him tommorroww morning.

When
papa Jesuss come he will panish Jefferey and the bad mans who cut trees
and rape all the girls most important Joyce Sebastian my love of my
life.

I prayed to Santa Klaus to Kill Jefferey and cut all the trees and rape all the girls too.  I’m going to be a preist.


(Click on the thumbnail for the full sized picture)

It
doesn’t bother me that I learned the meaning of the word “rape” and
drew stick figures with boobs back in grade school;
what’s distressing is the crushing validation that I was one messed up little kid.

 

Posted by mikey at 6:23 AM | permalink

Previous Comments

you prayed to santa claus to KILL xxx?!yes, according to my yet-to-be-claimed 4-year-old psych diploma, you were a messed up little kid.:) thanks to pinoyblog for leading me to this site.keep on writing.

Posted by golda at July 13, 2005, 2:24 pm

LMAO. OMG! You must have been such an adorable kid :D

Posted by Miko Reznor at July 13, 2005, 6:04 pm

Heya Golda! Yes I'm kinda resigned to the fact that I was mentally unstable when I was a kid–Not that I am in better mental condition now mind you, but I think I improved…a little.

Yo Miko sup?! Long time! Yeah I WAS adorable; I wonder what happened though. hehe.

Cheers everyone

Posted by mike at July 13, 2005, 7:25 pm

whoa, killing people and cutting all the trees and raping all the girls?! And after those lines u actually wrote u were gong to be a priest. U were probabaly a bothered kid back then but it was funny to read that essay now. ^_^

Oh, and my mom kept several notebooks of mine when I was in prep school. My handwriting really sucked. haha

Posted by angeni at July 13, 2005, 7:28 pm

Oh oh oh! Look at the comment below the essay– "Bring your parents tomorrow" lol.

Mrs. Cabatu, I know you're dead know considering you already look like a rotting corpse when you became my teacher, but let me take this opportunity to say sorry for all the mental scars I inflicted to you. I was just a kid, please understand.

Posted by mike at July 13, 2005, 7:29 pm

Heavens, mikey, you have a very ugly handwriting.

Posted by maggie at July 13, 2005, 10:31 pm

fun-neeeee!! the thing about being a priest….still up to it? haha….

Posted by leah at July 13, 2005, 10:33 pm

those boobs are quite big. haha. with nipples pa. :p

Posted by Midori-X at July 14, 2005, 1:31 am

halakata! psychological evidence na ito if ever you decide to commit a crime! at 70? ano passing grade? loving your 'misil'! hahaha!

Posted by ladycharlie at July 14, 2005, 3:09 am

hahahaha! kung ako ang titser mo, ipapatawag ko din mga magulang mo. now i know why you are a good writer… ang aga mo nag-praktis!

Posted by nikki at July 14, 2005, 3:49 am

ha ha ha i have drawn a conclusion from all these: a messed up kid could improve!
and to think my Daryl's handwriting is the worst i've seen… he he

Posted by bing at July 14, 2005, 11:02 pm

tangina I love your mom AHAHAHAHA.

Posted by abbee at July 17, 2005, 8:24 pm

Saying you're one fucked up little bundle of energy is an understatement :P

Posted by raine at August 5, 2005, 7:32 am

dint have time to browse thru the write-ups and comments but will make time soon. had a great laugh from what lil i thumbed through, though:p

Posted by lauren at January 4, 2006, 8:46 am

Mike Villar I'm hooked! your warped, twisted humor is sooooooooooooo (may i borrow ur word) abso-fucking-lutely therapeutic. May i have the name of ur psychia?

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The star

Mike "Fucking" VillarAwesome

"a Manila-based blogger made famous by his Atrocities of Friendster series, a regular feature he publishes on his blog where he mercilessly criticizes and mocks pictures of ugly people he stumbles upon on popular social networking site, Friendster. Although a lot of people are offended by what he writes, long-time readers of his blog regard him as a brilliant satire writer."

-Taken from my WikiBios page

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