went out with Nisha and nobody’s going to make a big fuss out of it.
Right? What’s wrong with celebrating a monthsary of an uninteresting
event? What’s wrong with the word monthsary?
Anyway,
we decided to try one of these fancy schmancy Mediterranean restos in
the city but not without giving mutual nods to go Dutch.I’m a
cheapskate like that, I know.I remember before when I used to have a
considerable number of misgivings when I took women to fancy
restaurants. I mean, if my parents did one thing right, they educated
me heavily on manners and dinner etiquette as I was growing up, and
that sort of stuff helps. Come to think of it though, you sit down in a
really swanky restaurant where the entrees alone cost as much as your
entire weekly food allowance and you come to an abrupt realization that
there are a gazillion things you can screw up.Or so my friend Murphy says.
In
places like these, you come across these tiny liturgies you have to
abide with often without leads from anyone. For instance, there are
twenty forks and sixty knives sitting in front of me and every one of
them serves a different purpose for different courses of the meal. That
sucks when you’re obliged to know the use of each one of them based on
their size alone. Like this small fork over here, it’s the soup fork
I’m sure. But why do I need a fork for my soup?
And there’re the things you’re not supposed to do like trying to reuse any of aforementioned utensils.
You have to wait for them to be replaced by the waiter.And although I’m
a hillbilly who’d rather have Red Horse beer than fancy wine, I’d have
to listen intently when the waiter reads through their extensive wine
selections and feign interest even if I don’t want any. Then the waiter
comes up to you with this exquisite wooden grinder at which point you’d
be forced to have pressed pepper on your appetizer because you’re
worried that you might offend him…
Nowadays
though, I just try to chill and don’t spend too much time worrying
about breaking decorum.Why should I? It’s 2005 brother, don’t we do
everything differently now? If I learned something about our generation
it has to be about rules; rules are laid out in front of us but they
never apply to us. Besides, chances are if you do offend someone it
won’t be the waiter, but rather the botox faced highbrowed matrons at
the other table. This entire swanky restaurant dinner etiquette
paradigm is a tyrannous belief system that deserves to be ignored on
every front don’t you think?
Moving on, yes, the snotty group of old women sitting a few tables over started exhibiting their fake desperate housewives
smiles as soon as we were seated. I start to wonder if there’s
something wrong with how I looked; is there grime on my shoes?Is my
shirt tucked in improperly?I picture myself coming up to them and
drilling their botox faces with my fist.I also picture myself standing
there like an idiot wondering why I always let my knowledge that
violence only serves to confound things restrain me from being violent.
So we
ordered our food and shot the crap for almost half an hour.I’m really
famished at this point so I call the waiter over to follow up on our
meal.
“nasan na yung steak ko? Hinuhuli nyo pa ba yung baka?” I
said joshing the waiter observing his face waiting for some sort of
smirk or a subtle sign of praise for my trenchant wit.Then I realize
that we’re in a fancy restaurant and they generally frown upon people
who make jokes about food here.
“I’ll
check with the chef sir.” He said with a tone devoid of any emotion.I
wanted to laugh with my explosive, ugly, fucked up laugh but I thought
better of it.
“What did you want to be growing up Mike?” Nisha asks me sensing my unease.
“You mean
other than a porn star?” I said warming up.“I wanted to be a doctor,
but then I thought I’d be missing out on a lot of things studying to be
one.So I shifted to marketing.”I added.
“How do
you think you would’ve done as a doctor?How do you think you’re doing
now as a sales guy?” She said resting her head on her hands, letting me
know I have her full attention.
“Honestly,
I felt like I would’ve made a crappy physician.I don’t think I have the
requisite patience to drudge through all that studying.”I say.“As a
sales guy? I can sell ice to the Eskimos and hair dryers to bald men.”
I said smiling.
“I see!” she laughs.
“How about you? What did you want to be?” It was my turn.
“I wanted to be a model.”
“How do you think you would’ve done as a model as opposed to being a lawyer?”
This is
another thing that confuses me.Why would you want to be a model, a
stewardess or have some other pseudo-glamorous job?My Ex girlfriend
wanted to be a stewardess and a model I think.She was cute in a
girl-next-door type of way but not runway or magazine model type of
cute.That girl spent so much time trying to be pretty that she became
less and less attractive.Her insecurities started to shine over her
personality and that’s sad to say the least.Nisha is cute in the same
manner but I find her attractive not because of her looks but because
of how intellectually stimulating she could be.I’m glad she didn’t
become a model.
“I would’ve sucked, it’s just not me I guess.” She says.
“And I’m
glad you didn’t end up being one.It’s simple, if you could be a model,
you’d be one.One need not try so hard.Some girls do and they end up
moping around with their lame ass portfolios trying to find employment
on merely their looks.Good luck on that right?” I tend to get carried
away with stuff like these.
The conversation carried on for a few more minutes.The food arrived and it was good.After the meal though, she dropped the bomb.
“I
appreciate you willing to splurge on me Mike.I mean even if we’re
splitting the tab, I know it’s gonna be expensive and to think you’re
not gonna get any ‘thank you sex’ out of it too.” She said the last
part softly.
Now I’m thinking.Would history have played differently if I picked up the tab?
i'm in the medical field and i'm not afraid of needles. BUT i wouldn't also do botox so i'd be younger. age is all in the mind.
you really write so well.
Posted by jey at July 21, 2005, 10:45 amchange of plan wil meet at the pioneer grill, in pioneer center, its along pioneer st., mandaluyong. 5:30 til 9PM. contact ning at 09163907478 kung may problem. we'll xpect u ha?. see ya!
Posted by may at July 21, 2005, 10:48 am[2] Thanks jey! I'd like to here more comments like these…in the form of donations. hehe.
hi Teachersol and May!
Posted by Mike at July 21, 2005, 2:49 pm"first dates don't work because they often take place in restaurants.Women are confused and unhappy about the food, and men are confused and unhappy about spending money." some smart newspaper editor said that.applies to most dates.great entry!
Posted by golda at July 21, 2005, 3:14 pm"This is another thing that confuses me.Why would you want to be a model, a stewardess or have some other pseudo-glamorous job?My Ex girlfriend wanted to be a stewardess and a model I think.She was cute in a girl-next-door type of way but not runway or magazine model type of cute.That girl spent so much time trying to be pretty that she became less and less attractive.Her insecurities started to shine over her personality and that’s sad to say the least.Nisha is cute in the same manner but I find her attractive not because of her looks but because of how intellectually stimulating she could be.I’m glad she didn’t become a model. "
- hey mike! I told you I was not gonna bother you. But I remember telling you that I will always check out your website because we're friends now and I care about you. I'm glad that you've found your happiness, really. But I think you'd never quit doing these things on the internet. If it makes you happy, so be it. I would just refrain from checking out your site. I'm not mad or whatever, infact I care so much about you.
By the way, I joined Emirates airways as a stewardess and never did it cross my mind that i'd become a model. Take care Mike!
Posted by Mayne at July 21, 2005, 6:14 pmPassing by from Kablogstugan 
Nice pic BTW, same as Bel's in her botox entry 
[6] You have to excuse mike because he can be a real asshole sometimes. I noticed this thing going on with you though since EO pa. Just stop checking out his site or his blogs if you feel like you're going to be hurt. It's not healthy for you, it's not healthy for him. Get it? Got it? Good.
Posted by Mia at July 21, 2005, 7:16 pmmaybe not. so where did you go to? 
[6] Hey Mayne! Wow Emirates? I'm glad you found your calling. Thanks for dropping by.
Mia; now now don't be a bitch lol. Sometimes I feel like I need to put a leash on you or something.
Abbee: You mean after? I went straight home and played with my toys.
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Posted by abercrombie fitch at January 28, 2012, 10:20 pmMike "Fucking" Villar
"a Manila-based blogger made famous by his Atrocities of Friendster series, a regular feature he publishes on his blog where he mercilessly criticizes and mocks pictures of ugly people he stumbles upon on popular social networking site, Friendster. Although a lot of people are offended by what he writes, long-time readers of his blog regard him as a brilliant satire writer."
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This entry cracks me up
I have a phobia with needles, never will I use this botox technology to transform my face into somebody else's (younger version of me) when the time comes.
Posted by Teacher Sol at July 21, 2005, 6:09 am