Vipassana Meditation

Recently I received an acceptance letter from the good folks over at the Philippine Vipassana registration committee.  Starting October 19, 2005, and after years of unhappiness as a striving egotistical yuppie, I will embark on a grueling 10 day quest for spiritual enlightenment and renouncement of worldly sins.

And when I say grueling, I MEAN grueling.  Vipassana meditation requires one to undergo twelve hours of silent meditation beginning at 4:00am, with small breaks for minimalist vegetarian food but none for conversing.

The precepts of Vipassana meditation include:

1.)  Abstaining from killing any living creature;
2.)  To abstain from stealing;
3.)  To abstain from all sexual activity;
4.)  To abstain from telling lies;
5.)  To abstain from all intoxicants.
6.)  To abstain from eating after midday;
7.)  To abstain from sensual entertainment
8.)  To abstain from using high or luxurious beds.

I have never seen the word abstain used so many times before and in my opinion the list of precepts is superfluous in the sense that all it means is that “Your social life is going to be severely atrophied and you’re never ever gonna touch yourself again, let alone, shag another girl.”

Yep, if yours truly would religiously abide by the precepts of vipassana, I would forever be celibate starting October 19.  Celibate and sober. 

But with staunch advocates like Weezer’s Rivers Cuomo swearing by the positive effects of mental purification Vipassana meditation brings about, how could one go wrong?

Besides, I’ve been receiving a lot of comments on how I should keep my insanity on a tolerable level.  Yes Maggie I’m talking about you. 

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