Nisha was
oblivious. She was busy digging through her purse for coins. But I wasn’t.

The
bagger at the checkout counter was filching covert glances at her chest as he
crams cans and cans of beer into those yellow plastic bags. As we dawdled
around the grocery store tonight grabbing all sorts of party stuff, I had a
grand time watching other men’s rather cagey glances. I observe them spot her
from across the aisle and then momentarily stop what they were doing to gawk at
her. I watched with glee as their wives or girlfriends notice them looking and
then follow their partner’s eyes to Nisha who was looking too cute without her
even knowing it. It actually feels kind of odd to be this distant to watch all
of this happen. I mean ordinarily I wouldn’t notice them at all because I’d
probably be one of the guys gawking.

As we
strolled one aisle going to the checkout counter earlier, an old bat almost
dropped a big jar of mayonnaise as he was so distracted by her. I shit you not.
All of these may sound funny to you but this is probably the most accurate way
I could describe this girl, this Nisha Solomon. She’s the sort of hottie that would make you fumble jars of mayonnaise on
the condiments aisle in the grocery.

I’m
hauling two heaping plastic bags of assorted cans of beer as we leave the
store. Ordinarily, I would’ve been fine with a couple of cans of Red Horse but
she looks pretty much decided on getting piss drunk hence the bottles of Cuervo
gold and Absolut Kurant. “Nixie, I still don’t see why even half of this purchase would not suffice
to send us into a coma.” I told her as we walk across the parking lot to her
car; the rain has let up but the night remained considerably drizzly. She was
holding an umbrella over my head, and I wish she wouldn’t do stuff like that
because she’s so cute when she does.

“Oh we’re
not going to go drinking by ourselves silly, we’re going to a house party!” She
said leaning in closer, whispering the last bit.

“What?!
Nixie! I smell worse than Persian food! And while you find my gym clothes sexy,
I’m sure not everybody would share the same sentiments, especially not in a
fucking party!” I said hyperventilating and getting all sweaty. I’m like this
when I get anxious and stuff.

“I didn’t
say your entire outfit was sexy Mike; I said your boxers were.” She said
activating the keyless entry thing of her Mazda. The car beeps twice in
agreement.

“But…but…but…”

“Hop in!”
Women are so manipulative…