run those Job suggestions over your slow, dense brain and try to
associate yourself with the job that best suits you. Next up is the
guide to writing the perfect resume’.
of Technology; which is not in Massachusettes nor does it producee badly
groomed, barely sane physicists who are bound to invent a time machine)
called me up and basically whined about not being able to get a job. I
pity her, I really do. I mean I know some people who graduated from far less prestigious
colleges, ones that only require you to sleep through your classes, have
a clean car and money to buy tickets to your school’s next basketball game. That’s a hell lot easier as opposed to having to
reconstruct the Eiffel tower as your thesis isn’t it? I lost my point somewhere
back there but I think I was about to mention some people having a job that
gets paid thrice the median pay for an entry-level position. That’s
saying a lot since all they do is surf the internet, watch porn and
occasionally pick lint off the carpet using their tongues. Some people also own 3,082
hectares of virgin rain forest somewhere in South America but I
digress–What I’m really thinking of right now is how the hell did they do
it?
The unemployment rate in the country
is rather alarming and leads one to think that there is no God. Being the philanthropist that I am, I feel that it behooves me
to write a definitive guide for all the people who think that serving
fries over at McDonalds is the best thing since sliced bread; for all
the ignorant college graduates who think that being a rock star is a
career path that is worthy of their best efforts and for all the Taong
Grasas who think that applying grease all over their bodies and
carrying around random scraps of metal and human waste is cool and hip.
The opportunities are endless
One
needs to set aside any inhibitions and prejudice it has against the
government and the number of jobs available because let me tell you
something—There are enough jobs in the Philippines to provide employment to
the whole population of China and Bolivia combined. You just need to
open your
eyes to see that there are a lot of career paths just waiting
for you to discover. Below are a few examples:
It’s not
going to be any surprise to anyone if I say that I had another sinful weekend
of unbridled, immoderate self indulgence. Alcohol and wantonness of course, are
requisite components of which.
Brian has recently purchased himself a nice, cozy condo unit and left us, his
friends, to do our own fucked up version of a housewarming party. You see, boys
do this thing a little differently.
Women usually prefer sitting around cooing and making all sorts of giggly
noises about the cute little gifts they brought. They bring crates upon crates
of cookies, pastries and cake and after they’ve exhausted their supply, they
proceed to play their sappy games. The latter part of the party is usually
spent sitting around some more, drinking their ritzy cocktails and talking
about their clitorises, cervical mucous and menstrual blood. Pffft. Boring.
the other hand manage to intersperse our drunken conversations with a broader
range of topics. We talk about what comprises a good blowjob, how one of our
girlfriends’ breasts is slightly larger than the other, how long should
foreplay be and what our favorite sexual act is.
simply do it better.
Mike "Fucking" Villar
"a Manila-based blogger made famous by his Atrocities of Friendster series, a regular feature he publishes on his blog where he mercilessly criticizes and mocks pictures of ugly people he stumbles upon on popular social networking site, Friendster. Although a lot of people are offended by what he writes, long-time readers of his blog regard him as a brilliant satire writer."
-Taken from my WikiBios page
