out tonight.” The little girl peering through the gate says dismissively. She wipes
a smear of chocolate from her mouth and takes another bite from the bar of Nestle
crunch in her hand.
I stood in front of this house in Santa Mesa Heights face to face with
the enemy and surprisingly, I have met my match in this five year old girl
wearing a Spongebob squarepants shirt. In the past, I have squared off with
older brothers, shot the crap with crabby fathers while withstanding “Don’t
even think about fucking my daughter” looks darted at me. But five year old
little girls? Jesus, this could get messy.
“Oh really? Why not?” I ask flashing a smile that teeters between sarcastic
and threatening.
The little girl just stands there and mulls over the situation. She
filches glances at my Red Civic parked across the street and bites off another
block from her chocolate bar.
“Ampanget ng kotse mo eh.” She
said casually.
I find her answer really funny; I mean motherfucker, this kid’s a blast.
If she doesn’t puff out from chocolate overload by the time she turns eighteen,
man oh man, her panty is going to be hard to get into.
“Tell you what, what if I give you this; do you think ate would go out with me?” I said
holding a bag of Hershey’s cookies and cream nuggets.
fingers on her shirt; she’s actually considering my proposal. The cogwheels
inside her sugar-rushed five year-old brain are ticking—“More chocolates, ugly ’99
civic, chubby guy wearing a muscle shirt that looks awful on him, weird looking
hair due to hair wax applied a little too liberally. He smells funky too, is
that Fahrenheit? Hmmm, this could work!” She takes the bag of chocolates
through an opening between the bars of the gate and shifts her glance back to
the open door behind her.
“Ate Kat!? There’s someone
looking for you!” She called out.
“Kara! Who’s there?” A
voice yells back from somewhere inside the house.
Kara opens the gate and
rushes back into the house leaving the front door open. I step into the yard and
stood in front of the already open door which feels really weird. A whiff of
the ‘Home aroma’ greets me. I don’t know if anybody else notices this but every
house has this unique scent going on. Don’t laugh but I actually wrote a term
paper on this subject for my social science class back in UERM. I couldn’t
remember why, but being the notorious procrastinator that I am, I probably
wrote it with alcohol and marijuana from a weekend party holding my hand. My
professor, Dr. Caguisano gave me a flat 1 with a really nice comment written
below the last page: “Stop doing drugs. And stop masturbating in the fire exit
during lunch time.”
Mike "Fucking" Villar
"a Manila-based blogger made famous by his Atrocities of Friendster series, a regular feature he publishes on his blog where he mercilessly criticizes and mocks pictures of ugly people he stumbles upon on popular social networking site, Friendster. Although a lot of people are offended by what he writes, long-time readers of his blog regard him as a brilliant satire writer."
-Taken from my WikiBios page
