The Command and Conquer series has got to be my
favorite games. Not only do they require you to have an analytic mind
and a trenchant sense of strategy but also tremendous amounts of
patience and about six reams of Lucky Strikes. What saddens me the most
is that the game’s developers, Westwood studios/EA Games has
deviated too much from the rudimentary elements of videogame warfare. The game
play suffers greatly from unrealistic “I-have-more-tanks-than-you”
type of strategy that players have to employ in order for them to
succeed in the campaigns and that’s not how wars are supposed to be won
ladies and gentlemen. Wars are won through exceptional training,
strategic planning and the right kind of “friends” won through clever
politicking and scheming; kinda like how alliances are formed, broken
up, formed again, broken up…ad infinitum in wrestling.
I think
I’m one of the few gamers left playing Command and Conquer these days;
the lure of games that allow you to roam freely in a city designed
specifically for the purpose of vandalizing, pointless killing,
crashing cars and hooking up with obese black prostitutes has proved to
be stronger than that of true mind games such as C&C. Seriously,
who gives a rat’s ass if IGN named Grand Theft Auto:San Andreas as 2004’s game of the year? Frankly, I think that this type of insipid game breeds children who grow up to be wannabe “thugs”
who believe that owning a big ass, penis-size-compensating gun makes
them real men; children who think that wearing oversized baggy pants
the size of giant sequoia trees make them “phat.” But let me tell you
something straightupp, ‘dawgs’, Playing GTA does not make you men, playing GTA is
not “phat”…it’s actually fucking lame. Real men are over 25 years old, play Command and Conquer and still live with their parents.
Given
the glaring faults in the game play of the more recent games under the
Command and Conquer franchise, I have written a proposal for a new
Command and Conquer game that I will send to the people over at EA
Games. I’ve
conceptualized my game with the C&C Generals engine in mind. The setting would be the events that unfold during the Joint US/UK military incursion in Iraq called: OPERATION IRAQI freedom. It will attempt to tweak all the flaws in C&C’s game play and put in as much realism to it as possible.
This expansion pack my friends would revive the fast dying game
that is Command and Conquer and elevate it to the status of legendary
greatness it truly deserves. Here it goes:
Mike "Fucking" Villar
"a Manila-based blogger made famous by his Atrocities of Friendster series, a regular feature he publishes on his blog where he mercilessly criticizes and mocks pictures of ugly people he stumbles upon on popular social networking site, Friendster. Although a lot of people are offended by what he writes, long-time readers of his blog regard him as a brilliant satire writer."
-Taken from my WikiBios page
