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I took a bath this afternoon to get ready for work, I noticed
something as I was shaving and looking at my reflection in the
mirror; something which, I believe, is a source of widespread
dreadful affliction for all adult males in the known world: I had
abnormally long nose hairs.
As
you’re reading this, you may be thinking to yourself “Nose hair?
This Mikey guy is crazier than I thought. That can’t possibly happen
to me! I mean, I’m Normal! Unlike him, I strive to maintain good
hygiene and don’t masturbate excessively!”
But unbeknown
to you, dear reader, your nose hairs have a life of their own. While
you sleep, they grow at an alarmingly fast rate entrenched deep in
your nostrils disturbed only by the rare probing pinky or index
finger. These hairs actually enjoy this sort of attention. The
trespassing fingers affords them repose and accelerate their growths
further. Once they have reached the end of their natural life cycle,
they fall off, sometimes even into the very meals that you eat
providing you with more than your recommended daily allowance of
fiber.
Mike "Fucking" Villar
"a Manila-based blogger made famous by his Atrocities of Friendster series, a regular feature he publishes on his blog where he mercilessly criticizes and mocks pictures of ugly people he stumbles upon on popular social networking site, Friendster. Although a lot of people are offended by what he writes, long-time readers of his blog regard him as a brilliant satire writer."
-Taken from my WikiBios page
