I have
never, for the life of me, imagined my loins throbbing for somebody more than
five years my junior. Other than the fact that consummating such desire is
illegal, I have never found girls that young attractive.

Recently
however, after reading Jason Mulgrew’s tirade on how the shock that comes with realizing
that the aforementioned girls have grown into lustworthy sex kittens has driven
him into the brink of stabbing his penis with a fork; and after seeing first
hand, how my brother’s own female friends have err…“grown” in more aspects than
one, I am now asking myself some serious questions that come from the depths of
my very being:

1.   Are
you really that desperate?

2.   Are
you doing this because your last dates with women your age didn’t work out?

3.   Speaking
of dates that didn’t work out, aren’t you going to ask that Kat girl for the
2,300 pesos you spent on her for your last date back? I mean come on, that’s a
lot of money to throw around for someone who wouldn’t even let you kiss her.

4.   Oh
wait, it wasn’t 2,300 pesos, it’s actually 4,300
pesos. If you count that 2,000 pesos you spent for that hotel room you didn’t
even use.

5.   Does
the 1,200 pesos you spent on that prostitute you picked up on Tomas Morato to
take her place count?

Anyway,
my brother celebrated his birthday last Sunday and in attendance were some
really foxy chicks. I couldn’t even believe that these were the same little
girls who used to call me ‘Kuya Mike’ three years ago; the same girls I hoisted
on my shoulders while helping them practice for a cheerleading routine; the
same girls I pulled a peeping Tom on while they peed in our bathroom. I mean
fuck! They have really, REALLY grown.