The weekend has been
extremely boring for me. While most of my friends took advantage of the
long weekend to go on vacation, I had to stay home and spend intimate
time with the Playstation. Yeah I know, I should get a life. You suck
too.

It wasn’t that bad
really, I mean while my friends probably had a swell time getting piss
drunk, checking out girls clad in skimpy bikinis and who knows?
Although unlikely, even getting laid (my friends are unattractive
geeks); I spent the most part of the weekend getting buzzed AND wanking
off to arousing pixelated images afforded by video games.

As a corollary to the
aforementioned waste of good vacation time, I have added video game
characters to my already long list of sexual fantasies which include
farm animals, wooden furniture, obese black women, retarded ten year
old kids, and Chinese girls with facial hair among others.

With that said, I present
to you the top five video game characters I wouldn’t mind boning if
they were real. Or even if they weren’t as long as I don’t have to pay
them.