How Adsense pollutes the blogosphere: EXCLUSIVE INTERVIEW WITH SAM OF PINOY BIG BROTHER!

Tuesday, November 8, 2005

With the advent of google adsense and
targeted ads, the blogosphere is exhibiting a rather bothersome
trend. In the Philippine blogging scene alone, it’s hard not to
notice the utter lack of creativity and originality manifested in a
lot of blogs that I come across.

Everybody’s simply selling out; riding
sensational and popular issues while sacrificing originality just
because it doesn’t fit into the ‘Winning Formula’. Take a look at the
blogosphere two years ago, take a look at it now. The general idea of
blogging nowadays is to take an excerpt of what somebody else has
written, put three or four sentences worth of your own opinion in it,
suffuse and blend it with as much google ads as possible, sit down
and wait to get rich 5 fucking US cents at a time. How fucking lame
is that?

Targeted ads are polluting the
blogosphere and I will not stand by idly while Google and its ilk
exercise hegemony over the Internet. With that said, I promise all of
my loyal readers (Pete and Sanjay, you guys) that I, Michael Joseph
Villar y Alinan, will never sell out and will continue to pursue high
art in the form of quality, original blogging. And I will prove that
now by posting my exclusive interview with Sam Milby of Pinoy Big
Brother fame.

<–HEY SEARCH ENGINES! OVER HERE!–>

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lap, dance, beer, paris, hilton, nicole, ritchie, sex, video, this,
is, so, fucking, lame, I , swear, to, god

<–END
HEY SEARCH ENGINES! OVER HERE!–>

Mike: Hello
everyone, I’m here today at Starbucks Emerald Avenue where
I
am torn between creaming my pants and feeling like a total loser
because I am about to Interview Sam Lloyd Milby, the most recent
house mate from the sickeningly popular TV show Pinoy Big Brother to
be evicted. Hi Sam, thanks for coming, what can you say to all the
readers of the ID Configuration?

Sam: Hi!
Glad to be here and hi to everyone who reads this prestigious
internet publication; Mike tells me that there are two million people
in five continents who read his site everyday and I cannot stress
enough how flattered I am to be invited for an interview.

Mike: Err.
yeah dude. So tell us a little something about yourself, your life
before Pinoy Big Brother.

Sam: I
honestly don’t know where to start. Well I’m from the city of Troy,
that is in the state of Ohio, USA for the benefit of those who are
totally ignorant on US Geography. I’m twenty one years old; I model
and one of my recent works was for the Close up campaign where I
worked with Barbie Almalbis.

Mike: Oh
that’s why you look familiar, you’re the closeup guy! What do you
think of Barbie Almalbis? I think she’s hot.

Sam: Isn’t
she a lesbian or something?

Mike: I
honestly don’t know. You think?

Sam: Yeah
dude, I mean while we were taking a break from shooting that bus
scene, she was sitting across this hot female production assistant
and she had her toes up the girl’s crotch man. Sick!

Mike:

Sam: Yeah
man, I know. Listen, you’re not going to publish this right? I mean I
hope you edit it first, I don’t want to come off as an asshole and
all.

Mike: Of
course, of course. Okay so tell me about life at the Big Brother
house? What was your first impression of the people you were gonna
live with?

Sam: Well
I was raised in America and I looked at them how America taught me to
look at Filipinos: They’re quaint little creatures who live in huts
made of straw and clay speaking in a retarded language nobody could
understand.

Mike:

Sam: Yeah
dude, except for Uma of course, he’s pretty cool because he’s from
Israel and can speak good English.

Mike: So
how was your relationship with Uma?

Sam: Like
I said, Uma’s pretty cool. If only he weren’t gay.

Mike: Did
I hear you right? Did you say Uma’s gay?

Sam: Okay
listen…can you turn that tape recorder off for a second? Yeah he’s
gayer than a queer fetus man. There was this one time I was taking a
bath, you do know that we’re not allowed to lock the bathroom door
when we’re taking baths right? We just hang a sign outside to let
people know that the bathroom is occupied. Anyway, Uma comes barging
in and just sorta looked at my dick. It was crazy man I tell you.

Mike: Maybe
it was just an accident man.

Sam: You
know I could say that if only I hadn’t caught him masturbating in the
room that night moaning “Sam…uhhhh…Sam…”

Mike: I
find that really….disturbing.

Sam: You
have no idea dude. I mean finding a dead body in your room is
disturbing, watching a man shot to death in front of you is
disturbing; but walking in on a guy jacking off while moaning your
name? That’s just plain sick.

Mike: I
agree. Anyways, I’m short on time. One last question for you Sam:
What do you think about the entire Pinoy Big Brother experience and
how it affected your life?

Sam: It’s
pretty cool I guess. I mean I find it amazing how a show as lame as
this can brainwash millions and millions of viewers and how it can
aggrandize my, and the other house mate’s existence into something
phenomenally interesting. I mean back in the states I was practically
a nobody; flippin’ burgers for McDonald’s; my classmates back in high
school calling me a ‘gook’ or ‘pearl harbor bomber’. But here, man,
it’s awesome! I’m a fucking superstar! And I have PBB to thank for
this!

Mike: ….

DISCLAIMER: THIS IS SATIRE. DON’T
SUE ME.

Posted by mikey at 10:57 PM | permalink

Previous Comments

lolz at your pseudo-metadata man. just had freaking tummy cramps laughing.

Posted by Fritz at November 8, 2005, 11:58 pm

that's nice. I hope you remembered to click on my google ads.

Posted by Anonymous at November 9, 2005, 12:20 am

hey don't diss barbie, i have the hots for her :D

I totally agree on the AdSense thing, which is partly responsible for the boom of SEO I think. I talked about iit a bit in my blog.. are we spending too much time on keywords (and valid xhtml) than on content? Not yet, thankfully, but we're getting there.

And yes, I clicked on you ads. Glad that you finally turned commenting on, btw

Posted by Jorge at November 9, 2005, 9:58 am

Well, alot of sources say that Barbie IS lesbian. Don't know how true that is, though. Anyway, about Pinoy Big Brother, I never really watched it but the last time I saw a teaser ad of the show, the housemates were challenged to (gasp!) use hoola hoops! It can't get any more exciting than that! Hopefully, their next challenges would require them to learn how to crochet or tie their own shoelaces. Maybe even make their own beds! What interesting insights into the human condition.

Posted by Shelly at November 9, 2005, 12:12 pm

Uhmmm…. google ads, google ads… google ads…. I never planned or thought to put one up on my site… Ahehehe. :D

But I guess you really have a point, and I agree…. too. Just continure bloggin', maraming natutuwa sa blog mo dude.

Posted by Jolo at November 9, 2005, 1:53 pm

For a moment when I saw that guy's pic I went, "Whoa! What the f…. " Then after a swift glance at the article I was relieved. Mike is himself. Whew!

Posted by erisac at November 9, 2005, 2:22 pm

Oh. My. God. This has to be the funniest thing I've read in months.

Posted by mlq3 at November 9, 2005, 3:43 pm

OH MY GOD! YOU'RE MANUEL L QUEZON THE THIRD!

*faint*

Posted by Anonymous at November 9, 2005, 3:54 pm

As usual, you're a god!

Posted by dona at November 10, 2005, 7:07 am

hahahaha, mikey. couldnt be more twisted, eh? :)

Posted by Anonymous at November 10, 2005, 1:38 pm

Shelly: I saw a part of the show when they did this halloween dance number thing. Awesome! Field Demonstration day awesome that is!

Erisac: Yeah man, enjoy it while it lasts. Pretty soon I'm gonna sellout. Like really sellout. ask Jolo. hehe.

Dona: I only accept human sacrifice thank you very much.

Posted by Anonymous at November 10, 2005, 6:27 pm

HAHA! ;) Really funny. But sadly, also true.

Posted by Maria Jose at November 20, 2005, 4:52 pm

"Selling out" … right on… :-)

Posted by diong at November 22, 2005, 12:01 am

funky!

Posted by lala at November 28, 2005, 9:18 pm

ndi lesbian si barbie.. isang gago gumawa nyan.. halatang gawagwa lng.. ewan.. ge bye

Posted by wla at December 1, 2005, 12:33 am

thanks alot guys very intersting.

Posted by Behind a PC at December 6, 2005, 12:16 am

this is not true……

sam doesnt talk like that…. how gross!

go to hell mike!

Posted by alah at December 13, 2005, 12:25 pm

Sam would never give you an interview! Who the hell are you mike?

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Posted by VIAGRA at January 4, 2006, 3:27 am

fucking morons… didn't you see the disclaimer below the article? it's just a satire… barbie this… sam that… might as well enjoy the post and for pete's sake, laugh geddemet!

Posted by ubergeek at January 12, 2006, 3:36 am

well done. i'm a convert… :D

Posted by Tata at January 13, 2006, 6:34 pm

isn't sam like gay as well? saw him in rockwell wearing makeup…

Posted by diane at February 2, 2006, 11:56 am

very funny! im short of breath!!
nice one.

Posted by suzaku_lace at February 3, 2006, 1:54 pm

You guys are sick!

Funny, Demented, Misguided, Offensive…

and I love it!

much thanks from Sunny Palm Springs, California

I can't wait for the next installment of Friendster Atrocities.

Posted by Ely at February 3, 2006, 4:18 pm


Uma is cool only if he is not gay. Same with Sam Milby.
I think so.

Posted by ER at February 10, 2006, 12:17 pm

er, i think sam milby is cute.

but, strangely enough, i was laughing my head off while reading your posts (particularly friendster atrocities).

KEEP EM COMING! :)

Posted by ivy at February 11, 2006, 8:17 pm

Uhm… I was just led to this website, and with the devolution of blogs being the topic, I'd like to contribute my piece…

… for the other side that is.

Just leaving a comment for backlink to result in a higher page rank. =D

http://www.hghcentral.blogspot.com…

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バーバリー サングラス」は、1856年創業の、イギリスを代表するファッションブランド。
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モンクレール キッズといえば、 モンクレールアウトレットヨーロッパのセレブから愛され続けている世界最高級の モンクレール ダウンベストレディースダウンウェアブランドです。 モンクレール ブーツ1968年のグルノーブルオリンピックでは、 モンクレール バッグサイズフランスナショナルチームの公式ウェアとなり、 モンクレール通販プレミアムダウンウェア モンクレール メンズの地位を確かなものにし、リーボック シューズ 世界中に知れ渡ることとなりました。 モンクレール メンズはもともとアルピニストの装備 モンクレール レディースを手掛ける企業でしたから、 ジャケットダウンモンクレール レディースグースの産毛5本指 シューズを使用した高品質のダウンウェアはプロのTOMS シューズ登山家の間では絶大な人気を誇っていました。 モンクレールアウトレットメンズダウンウェアというといかにも暖かいけれどいかにもアウトドアみないたテイストが多い中、 ジャケットダウンモンクレールはすごくファッショナブルで、Supra シューズタウンでも十分おしゃれに着こなせます。 モンクレールアウトレットしかもそこらのコートなんかよりも軽くて暖かい モンクレール通販サイズ。

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Mike "Fucking" VillarAwesome

"a Manila-based blogger made famous by his Atrocities of Friendster series, a regular feature he publishes on his blog where he mercilessly criticizes and mocks pictures of ugly people he stumbles upon on popular social networking site, Friendster. Although a lot of people are offended by what he writes, long-time readers of his blog regard him as a brilliant satire writer."

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