Oh
my fucking God! Thank you! I can hardly connect verbs! I feel like I’m
back in high school again, smoking pot in the janitor’s quarters;
peeping through a hole with a view of the girl’s lockers and watching
girls change into their P.E. uniforms while crying and rubbing my pee
pee. I’m just so happy! I just want everybody to kneel down before me
and hold hands as I say that even in my wildest fits of self
deprecation, I never dreamed that something like this could help me get
laid. And to the other bloggers out there who didn’t get picked, I want
you all to know how totally happy your crushing defeat makes me feel
right now.

When Pau
told me that my blog was picked as the blog of the week, I just had to
take a few minutes and laugh about how pathetically easy to please my
readers have become. All of this makes me feel kinda special.

As I make
the transition from the moderately respected blogger who spends his
workday writing dick jokes to the Internet star I am destined to
become, I realize that there are so many people to thank. First of all,
I want to thank the esteemed people behind Pinoyblog.com,
who looked deep within their cold, black hearts before giving me this
totally kick-ass recognition. Also, I want to thank Jesus, for being
such a powerful force behind my life. I just want you to know that I
have forgiven you for conning me into giving you my soul in exchange
for a lifetime supply of chocolate syrup. You the man Jesus! To my boss Alvin,
for being naive enough to believe me everytime I say I’m doing research
when in fact, I’m working on this award-winning blog. I also
want to thank my girlfriend Jopay, who supported me every step of the
way, God bless you sweetheart! And I promise to pay you the 400 pesos
worth of unpaid lap dances I owe you when I drop by the strip club
again. Finally, to all the illegitimate children I produced, thank you,
I couldn’t have done it without you. Well I probably could, but it
wouldn’t be half as funny. Whatever.

Thanks again!
Michael Joseph Villar y Alinan
Heir to the Duke of Hillcrest
Internet Star
Sales Machine
Son
Brother
Friend
Father to seven unborn children.