Hello
Internet! My name is Tim Wong PhD and I have been approached by the
Editor of this site to realign all of you third world monkeys’ musty,
antediluvian ideologies on sex and relationships.

You
may be asking yourself right now “Who the fuck is this clown and what
makes him qualified to give me advice on my sex life and my
relationships?” The answer is simple my brown skinned friends: The fact
that you’re reading this website makes you either a geek or a monkey.
And it is, afterall, common knowledge that instances when geeks like
you get laid are as rare as hen’s teeth.

This, my friends, is what I’d like to help you with. Yours truly is a SEXpert
in every sense of the word. When I was younger, I banged chicks left
and right and people who know me personally often ask “Dr. Wong! You’re
Amazing! How many chicks have you banged in your lifetime?” At this I
let out a snobbish chuckle and effeminately make gestures with my hand
then say “I cannot answer that question as there’s just so many. How
about I name the famous ones instead?” I banged a lot of famous people
in my lifetime too but these are the ones I remember off the top of my
head:

• Zhang Ziyi
  

• Naomi Watts
  

• Elisha Cuthbert (Smelly cunt)

• Kate Hudson (Pretty good piece of ass, but needs some boob work)
  

• Nicole Kidman (cries when she climaxes)
  

• Drew Barrymore
  

• Amy Lee of Evanescence (Had to lift five layers of fat to get in)
  

• Nora Aunor
  

• Penelope Cruz (has the worst breath)
  

• Heidi Klum
  

• Kitchie Nadal (I didn’t know she was famous)
  

• Brooke Burke
  

• Mike Villar (bleats like a pig)
  

• Lassie

In the past, I have written several books on sex
and relationships, all of which have been banned by the catholic
church. Among those are:

• Sex: Ten reasons why you shouldn’t do it with a nun.
  

• Sex: necrophilia for mongoloids
  

• Sex: Enjoy bestiality today
  

• Relationships: Why marriage sucks ass

Now that I have rubbed my achievements in your
face, let me proceed by presenting to you an overview of the latest
book I’m working on entitled “A guide to Sex and Relationships for Internet geeks like 30% of males ages 19-29 are today”
If everything goes as planned, it should hit the shelves by January of
2012. Anyway, I’m gonna kick it off by giving you a general overview on
Dating: