“UGLINESS, n. A gift of the gods to certain women, entailing virtue without humility”
-Ambrose Bierce, American Satirist
“Fashion is a form of ugliness so intolerable that we have to alter it every six months.”
-Oscar Wilde, Irish Writer
“The secret of ugliness consists not in irregularity, but in being uninteresting.”
-Ralph Waldo Emerson, American Essayist
“Mr. Churchill, you’re drunk!” Yes, I am; and you are ugly. But tomorrow, I shall be sober.
-Winston Churchill, British Prime Minister during WWII
“Mike Villar owes us 10,244 pesos worth of IDD calls to Saudi Arabia”
-Collections officer, SMART Telecommunications
“Who are you? And what kind of pancit did you eat?”
Mike Villar, Rising Internet Star / Hope and Winston Superstakes winner
Mike: Hello
and welcome to another adrenaline pumping episode of The Atrocities of
Friendster! The only column on this fascinating thing called the
internet that guarantees everyone a ticket to hell. Joining me today is
our resident Sex and Relationship Expert cum Haute Couturier; the
dashing, the balding, the effeminate Tim Wong PhD!
Tim: Join us as we rummage
through the piles and piles of rejects in this internet wasteland
called Friendster. Watch us kick open doors, dive through windows and
touch each other’s genitals as we lead you through an adventure of a
lifetime!
Mike: So don your asbestos suits and let’s get underway!
Tim: What asbestos suit?
Mike: Shut up.
Case 16: Guido
Mike: I
cornered this mutant after he crawled in through the window and found
his way to my sofa. He’s still there, and I’m still praying to God that
he NEVER, as in NEVER EVER take that pillow off where it is right now.
Tim: Oh my God; remember the
cartoon series ‘Toxic Crusaders?’ What the fuck happened to his face?
It looks as if he filled the toilet with Muriatic Acid and dunked his
head in it.
Mike: 1,000 pesos says there’s a hideous man-eating monster under that pillow.
Tim: Nah, I don’t want to take your money Mike, you need it for a new Sofa.
Mike: True.
Mike "Fucking" Villar
"a Manila-based blogger made famous by his Atrocities of Friendster series, a regular feature he publishes on his blog where he mercilessly criticizes and mocks pictures of ugly people he stumbles upon on popular social networking site, Friendster. Although a lot of people are offended by what he writes, long-time readers of his blog regard him as a brilliant satire writer."
-Taken from my WikiBios page
