Ooops, did i just have a virtual orgasm? « Mike Villar: Rising Internet Star

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Ooops, did i just have a virtual orgasm?

Wednesday, December 7, 2005

i do not know about you, but remember the tamaguchi craze?

i probably got hold of this news too late; in fact, i might only be the remaining few who is not aware of the hallucinated existence of a virtual boyfriend. for all i know, there are probably more and more women crying in desperation for being dumped by their virtual hub— oh fuck it, what is happening to the world?

alex who phoned me after a long day’s work by waking me up at 3am (thank you very much) said, "honey, humanity’s stupidity is a money making machine. entrepreneurs will not overlook it as much as possible."

but for the love of God– who gave you a heart, pumped it in your chest and who gave you the brain and put it on top of everything else– why are you doing this to yourself? it is tolerable to find people getting sad over dying tamaguchi pets but to actually enjoy dating a virtual boyfriend who DOESNT EXIST and have orgasm by doing it, is crazy.

"its like those kinky japanese comic strips. they do not exist, you know they’re crap, but surprise, surprise, guys found it orgasmic." he continued talking. "it is popular because it is out of the ordinary, honey. its like one of those heroes in those romance novels you girls so love to read."

i SO do not read romance novels.

30-year old tough-outside-gentle-inside heroes getting on with it with 18-year old stubbornheaded virgins. they are always the same: not standing each other’s attitude only to end up in bed with each other. and hey, you reading one of those Judith Mcnaught or Jude Deveraux novel now in your teens, it is not true that the first time is as fancy and climactic as they often wrote about. it is awkward, fast, and painful, damnit.

thinking about all these, it saddens me to realize that we are slowly rotting. and i am not talking about morality. in fact, even in our immorality, the standards are on sale. i am referring to how we define happiness— no, happiness is too big a word, even for this site— so i’d pick "fun". day by day, our idea of fun is reduced into lesser and lesser contact with the human race. and this truth can be seen across all ages. kids would rather spend the whole day in Time Zone rather than play patintero or piko or taguan or bahay-bahayan. how could they not know a gumamela pollen can be used as grated cheese for a play dinner or can be served as macaroni salad on a clayed pot?

that doesnt happen these days anymore.

i thought about the wishlist of the children in one bahay-ampunan our company is sponsoring for christmas. one was asking for a "real" german sheperd puppy. another was asking for a gameboy. a cellphone. mp3 player. discman. an authentic barbie doll. what happened to the sack of rice, a kilo of ham, quezo de bola, a simple doll, a new pair of shoes, a dress for christmas, a drawing book?

welcome to the digitalized, electronic world. before we realize it, we will be used as rechargeable batteries for these machines. if we are of any consolation, we might even be lucky enough to have orgasms while doing it.

Posted by Maggie at 11:33 AM | permalink

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