The Atrocities of Friendster Fan Appreciation day

Friday, December 16, 2005

I was pretty sure this was going to happen. I recently took it upon myself to do the world a favor by exposing the horrors contained within the hollows of one of the most popular social networking sites in the internet and most of you guys loved it. However, I submit that you can’t please everybody and although I consistently get messages like this:

 

User: kenna
User ID:
Host: 203.215.118.135
Comment:
mikey’s soooo hot haha

 

or

User: gian
User ID: agent_vendetta@yahoo.com
Host: 203.215.99.142
Comment:
mike ur the man! u shld have a show of ur own.. ill watch it even if its on a freakin late timeslot..i wish more of these would come up instead of those tv-novelas that stars chinky eyed people that speak tagalog!! WTF?! friggin infestation.. oh well.. add me to ur mailing list.. i think ur a genius… PRomil user!

— 

I also get messages from retarded little twits who love churning out misdirected internet hate. I’d like to stress that I do not write the Atrocities of Friendster column to blatantly insult people but rather to poke fun at what most of us actually find funny but are too chicken to do anything about–Ugliness. One of my favorite quotes about satire is "Satire is a sort of glass, wherein beholders do generally discover everybody’s face but their own" and that can’t be anymore true. So on that note, I’d like to say that this week, I am passing up on writing the 5th volume of the Atrocities of Friendster but rather am going to spend time with you, the fans, by answering selected messages simply because I love you and without you I wouldn’t be the famous internet star I am today. Let’s get started.

 

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