Anyone who’s even remotely into computers know what a blog is. Blogs, more often than not, serve as an avenue for pompous windbags and frustrated journalists(henceforth referred to as “bloggers” ) to whine about things they are unhappy about; express the most trivial of things in a grandiose, aggrandized, philosophical manner; engage in a rabid commentary on the hottest political issues, and much more. “Bloggers” range from suicidal goth/emo kids with serious attention deficit (SG/EWSAD) to Borderline Retards with Internet Access, A Colostomy Bag, And Lots of Lysergic Acid Diethylamide Tablets (BRWIAACBALOLADT’s).
Join me today as I exhibit keen insight, offer profound commentary and sink my awesome talons of truth on this new wrinkle on the internet people like to call blogging.
For one to fully understand the blogosphere, one must first get aquainted with its denizens. On that note, allow me, Spoony iuv—err Mike, to introduce to you the many characters who inhabit this burgeoning subculture.
Link whores are usually newbie bloggers who are desperate for attention. You’d be surprised at what Link Whores are willing to do in order for their abominable blogspot or livejournal blogs to get noticed by the more established bloggers in hopes of getting traffic. Although the Link Whore’s methodology varies, these are the tactics they commonly employ:
Make no mistake people, these bloggers will go to great lengths to get traffic for their crappy blogs. The Newbie Linkwhores often fail miserably though because their content consist primarily of posts about their first menstruation, their first kiss and other awfully boring stuff; things which any self respecting blogger will never link to unless each clickthrough guarantees a mind-blowing orgasm.
Txtblggrs are people whose ability to make sensible judgments and understand the difference between reality and fantasy is seriously impaired by the perennial effects of LSD and other hallucinogens. The long term effects of their drug abuse also affects their ability to distinguish a mobile phone from a computer as they insist on writing posts akin to SMS messages than properly using their computer keyboards. Below is a sample post from a txtblggr:
I met w brd tdy n we hd a bg fyt!! I dnt knw wt hs prblm s bt m rly pssd at hm. Hw hrd s 8 2 undrstnd tht I dnt wnt hm 2 stck hs pns in my s whn we r hvng 6? Nw I hv a rly bd cse f hemryds bcoz f hm! Wht do u guys thnk? comment! roflol!
It is widely believed that txtblggrs write this way in order for them to conserve brain cells they could very well use for other, more productive activities such as arguing with other txtblggrs about how Super Saiyan 5 Son Gokou could beat the shit out of Rambo or some retarded shit like that.
While not a neologism, the word “snark” is enjoying widespread use in the blogosphere thanks to CopyBlogger’s Stop Snark Manifesto. Here’s an excerpt:
While the human voice can be unmistakably genuine, if lacking in integrity it can also be extremely annoying. When adult bloggers sound like MySpace teenagers and substitute insolence for wit, you know we’ve got issues.
Snarks are the punks and cranky war veterans of the blogosphere. These are the wrong motherfuckers to fuck with—online at least. Snarks, in real life, are more often than not lanky bandleaders or Ragnarok junkies who are routinely and summarily beaten up by the Txtblggrs and Newbie Linkwhores they love to ridicule online.
While snarks generally get along well with other snarks; people who disagree with their opinion are usually subjected to violent diatribes which are usually targetted towards the bad grammar, spelling errors and sometimes even the sexual orientation of their detractors. Some snarks even take it to the next level by subjecting their critics to threats of physical injury. Snarks can find your home or office address online, track you down and slit your throat! Even your mother’s! At least that’s what he claims he can do. In reality however, he asks money from his mom for bus fare and prepaid dialup internet cards.
Contrary to popular belief, tech bloggers are not real. They are imaginary bitmap images from the 1970’s made up of spare computer parts. These bloggers are responsible for fistfucking the interweb’s throat with breaking tech news or evangelizing it with the word of their favorite hardware manufacturers.
It is widely believed that tech bloggers, although illusory, still engage in social activites similar to those of humans. These are called “LAN parties” which are basically parties where tech bloggers socialize by touching plastic keys and engaging each other in an epic battle of Starcraft.
Tech Bloggers are probably the most interesting types of bloggers because I personally think there’s nothing more interesting than reading about how much RAM their PC’s have, how big their “HDD’s” are or that day they “modded” their heatsinks and had sex for the first time or something.
To be continued
Next Week: The Thesaurus Master, The Suicidal Goth/Emo Blogger, and Girlygirl you go girl lol!
[1] Well I'm THAT too! And a snark! a really fucked up one!
Im really enjoying this miggy thing hehe
Posted by Anonymous at February 23, 2006, 12:36 ami luv yah mickey….
Posted by minnie at February 23, 2006, 1:13 am[2] well duh you're a snark. it did not exactly give a "oooh yeah" moment unlike the moment i read the words "borderline retard with internet access". that kinda goes without saying miggy.
i wish i could say i'm a snark, but i'm not… 
[2] (cont) just fucked up…
Posted by biankita at February 23, 2006, 2:26 am[3] Come on, who doesn't?
Posted by Anonymous at February 23, 2006, 9:37 am<blockquote>“Bloggers” range from suicidal goth/emo kids with serious attention deficit (SG/EWSAD) to Borderline Retards with Internet Access, A Colostomy Bag, And Lots of Lysergic Acid Diethylamide Tablets (BRWIAACBALOLADT’s).</blockquote>
Now, which group do I belong again?
Posted by Euri at February 23, 2006, 10:55 am[7] doesn't matter what each blogger's like: everyone's just the cum their respective mother should've swallowed.
anti-snarks who complain about you being mean are generally composed of the cum that didn't even credit anyone's mouth… they're the ones who landed on a porno magazine.
you miggy… mmm… you a cross between satan on uppers in a bad prom dress and that guy who got picked after the girl when people form teams for any game…
…who has internet access.
and for that reason, i end up coming back to this site. 
[8] holy fuck! I have intelligent readers!
Posted by Anonymous at February 23, 2006, 6:11 pm[9] is it because i hitthe target when i said you were satan on uppers in a bad prom dress?
Posted by biankita at February 23, 2006, 6:14 pmim a newbie link whore.
and proud!
i have nothing against friendster members… but your humor boggles the mind.
Posted by Maria at February 24, 2006, 7:46 pm[11] newbie link whores are probably the cum that fertilized a grape, not an egg.
Posted by biankita at February 24, 2006, 11:34 pmoh shit! I think I'm a link whore….
Posted by kenna at February 26, 2006, 8:38 ami actually want to be one of those… imaginary bitmap images from the 1970’s =p
Posted by kenna at February 26, 2006, 8:43 amyou, Mikey, are definitely one of those snarky bloggers. haha
Posted by AnP at February 26, 2006, 5:26 pmPeople are speaking highly of
MBT Shoes UK due to its reliable quality and the reasonable price.
MBT Walking Shoes are one of the best in MBT Shoes UK, which will be the good assistant to make your body relaxed. Beyond that, We have launched MBT 2010 grandly, MBT Sandals Shoes for you to enjoy the good results from doing exercises indoor. Up to 50% off, free shipping, welcome to enjoy your shopping.
http://www.officialmbts.com/
Supra Trainers are widely popular and remain being the bestseller in board shoes world. People give very high opinion to Supra Shoes UK due to its excellent quality and personalized design with the competitive price.
Supra Vaider Shoes contribute a lot to Supra Trainers, which may be your next target. Upto 50% off, free shipping and non sale tax.
http://www.suprafeet.com/
Hermes Crocodile Leather Silver Hardware Belt is truly elevated hplus poduringtbag businesswoman plus their womens handbags are easily immediate by means of efficiently built. starting the commencement Louis Vuitton Monogram Canvas 3 Watch Case moreover Bottega Veneta Nero Waxed Zip Top Shopper by the way on the road to facilItate were fashiby top ofable, trifling, fix, bonus a revelation of the mature in which they were made. we portray each plan of Hermes Bearn Short Wallet Orange in vastly Bass charge by means of the peak reminiscence on the exit. we barn dance not just concoct a inferior hadded tobags and situation a emboss of the classify hail as on it, we makes a nicely high handbags For Men to facilitate is modeled directly as soon as the Louis Vuitton Damier Graphite Canvas Reversible Belt. every one of Hermes Togo Leather Birkin 30CM White Gold Hardware is inspected OR prize unconstrained of pile up, and all of the Gucci 2009-10 News Joy Medium Boston Bag willpower spring together with its first carton and genuine overtake. take delivery of originate to our website to survey Hermes Kelly 32CM Togo Leather Bag Light Coffee Gold Hardware on 9088232343002
Posted by BRM Tourbillon watches at October 12, 2010, 11:09 amNow two former Bush speechwriters from the Bush II White HouseMicrosoft Office 2010David Frum and Michael Gerson
Office 2010have come along and prescribed Big Government
for what supposedly ails modern American conservatism
Office 2007Norquist has a better idea, namely keeping the conservative movement
Microsoft Office 2007the dominant
political force since the first Reagan Administration
Microsoft Officetrue to its principles, foremost of which is limited government
Windows 7He knows that Big
Government is an inefficient tool for reform
Microsoft outlookand a threat to personal liberty. What is more
Outlook 2010Big Government is still viewed with suspicion by
a majority of Americans
Microsoft outlook 2010
bape bape shoes new balance new balance shoes new balance outlet wellies boots wellies hunter wellies moncler moncler down jackets moncler jackets nici nici toys plush toys iPhone accessories iPod accessories iPad accessories iPhone cases
Posted by louis vuitton outlet store at December 1, 2010, 3:18 pmlouis vuitton bags
louis vuitton handbags
louis vuitton outlet
louis vuitton 2011
designer bags
louis vuitton 2011
louis vuitton online
louis vuitton collezione
Louis Vuitton Factory Outlet store
Louis Vuitton Classics Canvas
Louis Vuitton Classics Damier
Louis Vuitton Classics Monogram
Louis Vuitton Cruise Collection 2009
Louis Vuitton Epi Leather
Louis Vuitton LV 2011 New
Louis Vuitton Monogram Denim
Louis Vuitton Monogram Multicolore
Louis Vuitton Monogram Vernis
Louis Vuitton Stephen Sprouse Collection
Louis Vuitton Wallet
louis vuitton purses
louisvitton handbags
luis vitton handbags
lui viton handbags
luiz vitton handbags
loui vuitton handbags
louie vuitton handbags
gucci bags
gucci handbags
gucci sale
Gucci Factory Outlet store
Gucci backpack
Gucci clutches
Gucci evening
Gucci hobos
Gucci shoulder bags
Gucci top handles
Gucci totes
chanel bag
chanel flap bag
chanel classic
2.55 chanel bag
chanel jumbo bag
Chanel Factory Outlet store
Chanel 2011 New
Chanel Classic Bags
Chanel Flap Bags
Chanel Sandals
MBT shoes sale store
Nike factory online store
UGG boots sale store
GHD hair straighteners discount store
Louis Vuitton Factory Outlet store
Gucci Factory Outlet store
Chanel Factory Outlet store
Coach Factory Outlet store
Bride wedding dress store
Very happy to see your article, I very much to like and agree with your point of view. Thank you for sharing. At the same time,i love best pram very much .Welcome to look at my website and blog articles.Hope we can become good friends, and exchange and to help each other! Thanks!!
Posted by cheap jordans at May 11, 2011, 8:31 amReally trustworthy blog. Please keep updating with great posts like this one. I have booked marked your site and am about to email it to a few friends of mine that I know would enjoy reading..
Posted by Vibram Five Fingers at May 11, 2011, 8:49 amWhen the past three days, they grow closer than ever dresses before, because they will no longer just husband and wife wedding dresses is the shit …… they will partner. In Western culture, superstition is not uncommon, especially in the wedding. Failure to wear the old, new, borrowed, blue trumpet wedding dresses four things that most brides would rather immediate fire ankle length bridesmaid dresses burned the church, to delay marriage not want to get married. Do not try to even look at your fiancee a wedding, even when three-step way to far away from the church.
Posted by dresses at May 18, 2011, 1:47 pmFantastic Read! Looking forward to more! Bookmarked the site and will be back again!
Pumps Heels
Pumps Heels
[url=http://www.bootsmvp.net/christian-louboutin-pumps]Pumps Heels[/url]
[url=”http://www.bootsmvp.net/christian-louboutin-pumps” title=”Pumps Heels”]Pumps Heels[/url]
There are plenty of cameras that were invented nowadays. The CCTV Security Systems are known for its being effective as DVR Surveillance Systems. The camera has a wire that transmits its signal to a recorder or a monitor for a proper viewing. They are used in stores, streets, highways and most especially at home.
One of the less stressful ways, easy and fast to keep the business safe and the family is to secure Wireless CCTV Cameras. It will make the family secure by seeing the property through day and night. It is just fast and so easy to install even if it has no chords. You can avail of a high tech system of making your place, business and family secure as long as you have an outlet ready and available and a strategic location for the Surveillance Camera Systems to install.
Your blog is outrageous! I mean, Ive never been so entertained by anything in my life! Your vids are perfect for this. I mean, how did you manage to find something that matches your style of writing so well? Im really happy I started reading this today. Youve got a follower in me for sure!
Posted by oakley sunglasses discount at July 20, 2011, 2:56 pmThanks a lot for sharing this amazing knowledge with us. This site is fantastic. I always find great knowledge from it.
Posted by Wholesale jerseys cheap at October 25, 2011, 10:11 amAmong the many baseball players and available shirts Belstaff Jackets Uk Online, shirts, Mens Belstaff Daytona Blouson JacketDerek Jeter and Alex Rodriguez are definitely the most Mens Belstaff Jackets popular and sold well in recent years Belstaff leather. These two top-selling Cheap Mens Moncler Down Jackets.NFL jerseys are the most duplicates. Belstaff Bags Remember to check out that there Belstaff Jacket are no problems of Belstaff UK legitimacy. As with any shirt other than Mens Belstaff Trialmaster Classic Tourist Jacket a broker, check the MLB logo on the jersey, Womens Belstaff Jackets sewing properly, and other signs of replica jerseys.
Posted by Belstaff Jackets Uk Online at November 19, 2011, 4:07 pmGHD
Discount GHD New Wave Limited Edition On Sale for Sale limited edition re-burning your passion, your enthusiasm back cool and charming long face. Discount GHD Diamond Hair Straightener On Sale Limited Edition, this charming pink version, each equipped with a raffia bag, mirror, no matter when, no matter where, you can easily have Discount GHD Black Glamour Limited Edition for Sale.
http://www.ghdonlinestoresale.com
Cheap Coach
This season, cheap Coanh Madison Op Apricot coffee color Handbags more than a graceful tenderness, but its charm and charm, but there should be no reduction, the popular color matching and trendy styling is fun. cheap Coanh Madison Op Khaki Pink Handbags imitation snakeskin surface elegant, simple crescent profile of women’s modern city full of temperament. Winter Cheap Coach Kristin Black White Women Handbags new, simple and stylish design combines dazzling color to the dull sense of breaking the cold winter.
http://www.coachtopstore.com
Monster Headphones
discount cheap Monster Beats By Dr Dre butterfly Headphones Control High Performa gold headphones with active noise reduction technology, and outside noise by issuing equal but opposite phase sound waves, the noise in and can effectively reduce outside noise interference, cheap Monster Beats By Dr Dre Pro Headphones High Performance Professional black let you enjoy wonderful music quiet details, while reducing the volume to protect the hearing. Monster Beats By Dr Dre Pro Headphones on sale High Performance Professional white can restore the musicians and producer are in a professional studio-made for each sound.
http://www.monsteronlinesales.com
Mike "Fucking" Villar
"a Manila-based blogger made famous by his Atrocities of Friendster series, a regular feature he publishes on his blog where he mercilessly criticizes and mocks pictures of ugly people he stumbles upon on popular social networking site, Friendster. Although a lot of people are offended by what he writes, long-time readers of his blog regard him as a brilliant satire writer."
-Taken from my WikiBios page
i think i'm one of the "Borderline Retards with Internet Access". thank you for providing me with a perfect description for myself. you open doors miggy.
Posted by biankita at February 23, 2006, 12:23 am