Hello, how are you doing? Actually your current state is of no importance to me. I was just making small talk. And holy fuck, I just realized I used that joke before; Yes, I know, I’m running low on funny shit and I would appreciate it very much if you, my readers who I love so much, can send me more. And if you’re a hot girl and it isn’t asking too much, send me a pic of your boobs with the words "I LIKE BOYS" written on them with a permanent marker. Thank you very much.
Anyways, I’m going to make this short as I have tons of work to do. I’m relatively new to this entire blogging thing let alone the infamy, discredit and notoriety it has given me so far. Think about it, this isn’t such a bad gig. It has all the perks like hate mail or risking your job everytime you write about how you have a pending warrant of arrest for setting a filthy homeless guy on fire over the weekend or how much you’d like to stick three fingers up an attractive female officemate’s heinie.
But what really kills me is that somebody actually bothered putting up a hate site dedicated to yours truly. This is all flattering shit but I’m not going to say anything, instead I’m going to let the big dogs do the talking.
OMGWTFBBQ!! TEH MAN BLOG has just been featured in the newspaper I get whenever the Inquirer isn’t available! (just kidding Annalyn! I don’t read newspapers; actually I don’t read at all. Okay, I CAN’T read.)
Q. What’s your vision for TMB?
Adam Mordo : We’re hoping to get our own TV show soon. Calling the attention of Mr. Enrico Santos of ABS-CBN! We could easily replace the painfully unfunny "male oriented show" on channel 23. We don’t like to name names but I’m sure you know what we’re talking about!Kinkylube: Why is vision important? Can’t we do something for the sake of doing something? Must we be goal-oriented all the time?
Emerson : Oh God. I’ll be happy just to not get sued within the next few months.
Pau : You, me, and two glasses of appletinis on a secluded tropical island where we are worshipped by the natives who show their adoration by throwing little bananas at us every time we walk by.
Mike: Get laid via the Internet! LOLROFLOMGWTFBBQ!!!!!
It’s official: we have successfully made the jump from being teh biggest group of retards on teh internet to teh biggest group of retards on the internet AND teh NEWSPAPAR!
Hello, how are you doing? Actually your current state is of no importance to me. I was just making small talk. Anyway, I was told by my long lost friend Louis of Areyouinthemoodforsomedude.com (easily the best domain name in the universe. Chuck Norris says so) that my humble blog’s URL has found its way to the mailboxes of a lot of people in the multi-national company he works for. Also, a quick look at the referrers to my blog reveals that my URL has been circulating within several popular contact centers here in the Philippines. Now what does this tell me?
I am trying to look at this from several angles. The first is that I finally made it; I have in my hands something that most people find rather elusive and something I, with no hesitation at all, would punch my mother in the face for: Fame.
However, I’m also looking at this from another perspective; one that is seriously detrimental to my so far bright career. Imagine this:
HR Manager: [looking at my Resume] I see that you have tons of Customer relations and Business development experience. I honestly don’t see why I still need to interview you.
Me: [My feet up on his desk] Well you know how it is man. I mean we both know how awesome I am but I guess we have to do this for formality or something.
HR Manager: You’re right. [standing up] Martini?
Me: Please.
HR Manager: [Leafing through my resume] You know what, your name sounds really familia..
Me: [Interrupts] That’s probably because I’m an Internet star. I’m the guy who writes the Atrocities of Friendster series man.
HR Manager: [Face becomes stern all of a sudden] Right. So that’s who you are. I know you. In fact, I really enjoy your blog—until I saw the picture of my daughter in it…
Me: Um..wait…
HR Manager: [interrupting] WHOM you called an abominable [pauses] snow fag.
Me: Come on, what I write should be taken in jest. Besides, I never intend…
HR Manager: Get out of my office. And take your smell with you.
Mike "Fucking" Villar
"a Manila-based blogger made famous by his Atrocities of Friendster series, a regular feature he publishes on his blog where he mercilessly criticizes and mocks pictures of ugly people he stumbles upon on popular social networking site, Friendster. Although a lot of people are offended by what he writes, long-time readers of his blog regard him as a brilliant satire writer."
-Taken from my WikiBios page
