I just realized that I haven’t told you guys about this little party I attended a couple of weeks back. My best friend Jay Lingan’s sister, Joy, threw this awesome party in celebration of her graduation from Miriam College. The best thing about this particular party is that there were a lot of nubile sex kittens in attendance and since Miriam College is an exclusive school for girls, the girl to guy ratio is pretty much working in my favor.
The bad thing is that almost half of the girls in the party were either dykes or in a relationship with one. Thankfully, Joy, God bless her, had no qualms whatsoever in either pimping her single straight friends to me or identifying who the taco-lovers are in the group. So for the most part of the evening, Joy and I were having conversations like this:
Me: [Seeing a girl who kinda looks like Kirsten Dunst walk in] Joy, I honestly didn’t want to attend your party at first mainly because I thought it’s going to suck worse than the last one you threw. And by God, am I thankful that I did because this right here, is fate. That Girl over there[pointing to the 17 year old Kirsten Dunst look-alike] is my soulmate…
Joy: Um, Kuya Mike…
Me: [not really listening] I want to marry her so I can touch her all over; we will have four children, two of which will die of hunger, but it’s all good. We’re going to be so madly inlove…
Joy: I don’t know about that…
Me: [still not listening] We’re going to live in a small ranch, live a simple life and spend eternity with our heartbeats spelling each other’s name…
Joy: But…
Me: [too smitten to listen] So make haste young one, get me your kuya’s guitar, so I can serenade her with crazy for you and win her love with my musicianship…
Joy: She’s a dyke.
Me: We all know how college chicks like you are crazy over…WHAT!? [sees a girl who, this time, looks like Kristine Hermosa] Oh nevermind, how about her? [Pointing to the newcomer]
Joy: That’s her girlfriend.
Me: Seriously?
Joy: yep.
Me: [Sighs] Why don’t you just tell me where the fucking beers are so I can get a good buzz going and just masturbate at home?
This is one thing I don’t get and I would appreciate any explanation you guys can give me regarding this. What do girls see in lesbians? I mean, they don’t have dicks, they can’t fight for shit (I fought one in sixth grade and although I clearly lost the match, I’ve been beaten up worse by guys), AND they have cooties.
Mike "Fucking" Villar
"a Manila-based blogger made famous by his Atrocities of Friendster series, a regular feature he publishes on his blog where he mercilessly criticizes and mocks pictures of ugly people he stumbles upon on popular social networking site, Friendster. Although a lot of people are offended by what he writes, long-time readers of his blog regard him as a brilliant satire writer."
-Taken from my WikiBios page
