Um, you guys remember when I told you that I was fucked up? Well guess what: I REALLY AM. I haven’t consulted a psychiatrist yet but apparently, I am suffering from chronic panic attacks. All the symptoms are there; bouts of intense, often irrational fear; heart palpitations; hyperventilation and a weird feeling that I’m choking or being smothered. These symptoms aren’t really new to me as I think I’m also hypertensive and am on the verge of a stroke (and I know this because I get all dizzy and shit whenever I bend down to tie my shoelaces) but what worries me is that my episodes usually cause me to lose control over my emotions and my behavior in general.
Earlier this morning, I was having just a swell time beating off to porn clips I have saved on my computer when all of a sudden I felt all depressed and a plethora of negative images permeated my consciousness. These ‘negative images’ range from absurd thoughts of my testicles being run over by a truck to my family’s house being burned down. Also, I become so fucking scared of dying and a feeling of impending doom engulfs me which is weird because being a borderline atheist/agnostic, the fear of dying usually ranks low in the list of things I fear.
The result of all this is usually me running around frantically in my room, banging my head on walls and inventing colorful ways of killing myself like licking a wall socket or trying to twist my neck beyond its normal range of motion.
The statistics on panic attacks are quite alarming too. 30% of people who suffer from panic disorder resort to alcoholism to cope with it–something that I have been personally taken up after my dad suggested that I drink two bottles of beer everynight to help me calm down. Something which, being the dumbass that I am, I misheard as "Two liters of beer mixed with Extra Joss, a bottle of brandy and about two packs of cigarettes every night" 17% of people suffering from panic attacks turn to drugs to alleviate the anguish associated with their condition and a small percentage resort to suicide.
Okay, I am still traumatized by my last episode so pardon me for not coming up with a more colorful way of saying THIS FUCKING SUCKS. Why does it FUCKING SUCK you ask? Well:
Mike "Fucking" Villar
"a Manila-based blogger made famous by his Atrocities of Friendster series, a regular feature he publishes on his blog where he mercilessly criticizes and mocks pictures of ugly people he stumbles upon on popular social networking site, Friendster. Although a lot of people are offended by what he writes, long-time readers of his blog regard him as a brilliant satire writer."
-Taken from my WikiBios page
