Quick update ladies and gentlemen. As you may all know by now, I've been working on a web project that, in due time, will make me the richest, sexiest man in the local Internet scene(I mean if I'm not that already).
Here's the deal, when I and fellow Man Blog editor Adam Mordo started Dash Media, we never thought that the initial response was going to be THIS good. As I write this post, we have tons of submissions and we're having a grand time going over all these awesome blogs. I even took the time to run a couple of the submitted email addresses through Friendster and Myspace and masturbated to a couple of pictures of hot girls I came across. (Just kidding. I don't remember whether or not I could exactly call the pictures I masturbated to "hot". Also, the gender of the people in said pictures are debatable.)
Seriously now, we're really overwhelmed, we never expected such a deluge of submissions and what we're going to do is keep this round of submissions open until the 28th of this month and from there, select 25 of the best blogs to represent the first batch of sites we're going to induct into the network. Also, in order to give the entire thing an additional touch of prestige, I'm thinking of giving free finger blasts to the first 10 women who'd get accepted to the network.(Free handjobs in case they're men. Either way works for me)
You know another thing I realized? I'm spending waaay too much time on the Internet. So much that it sort of feels weird whenever I step away from my computer to eat, pee, masturbate or whatever. I feel, I don't know, for the lack of a better word—Vulnerable.
My point is, I don't know, I don't think I even have a point other than “GOD I'M SO LONELY I'M WILLING TO SUCK A GRADE SCHOOL BOY'S BIRD FOR FEMALE COMPANIONSHIP”
But you know what? This loneliness is a temporary thing. I think I got myself a date on Friday (operative word being 'think' as she insists that it shouldn't be a date. God, I hope this means that we could forgo the entire “eating at a fancy restaurant, me trying my best to look not fazed after seeing how much the tab is, and finally collapsing into the arms of an unsuspecting restaurant patron, faking an epileptic seizure hoping that my date picks up the tab. And have pity sex with me” thing and just go straight to the pity sex part.
Also, my Ex girlfriend is flying in a couple of months from now and we sort of promised each other awesome angry sex with lots of cursing and hair pulling.
So you see, over the next three months, there's a good chance that I'll have sex twice with two different women!
Unprecedented. Unprecedented and pathetic.
But my penis can't complain, I bet he's all “What the fuck dude, I'm just happy I'm going to have sex with someone who's not your right hand.”
Oh by the way, to the potentially hot chick I'm going out with on Friday (you know who you are), SMS me or call me or whatever before that day. God knows I suck at these things. Thank you.
Mike "Fucking" Villar
"a Manila-based blogger made famous by his Atrocities of Friendster series, a regular feature he publishes on his blog where he mercilessly criticizes and mocks pictures of ugly people he stumbles upon on popular social networking site, Friendster. Although a lot of people are offended by what he writes, long-time readers of his blog regard him as a brilliant satire writer."
-Taken from my WikiBios page
