Paulo Coelho holding flowers given to him by his life partner, Leif (also in picture)
Mike: I am here today in Rio De Janeiro Brazil waiting anxiously for the arrival of today’s interviewee, Mr. Paulo Coelho. For those of you unfamiliar with Paulo Coelho’s work, he is the author of the best-selling book The Alchemist , a book which to date, has sold well over 11 million copies and has been translated to 41 languages. Oh here he is now! It’s my honor to finally meet you Mr Coelho—
Paulo Coelho: “The moment of that kiss contained every happy moment I had ever lived.
Mike: Um…sorry?
Paulo Coelho: Ah. You cannot possibly understand.
Mike: Understand what? With all due respect sir, your statement didn’t even make sense—
Paulo Coelho: We can never judge the lives of others, because each person knows only their own pain and renunciation. It’s one thing to feel that you are on the right path, but it’s another to think that yours is the only path.
Mike: Rrright. I’ve always thought you were the master of esoterocism but I never thought that you drivel this much even in person.
Paulo Coelho: …
Mike: …Okaay, now that we got the pleasantries out of the way, shall we move on to the questions I prepared?
Paulo Coelho: We have to stop and be humble enough to understand that there is something called mystery.
Mike: [getting pissed] Whatever dude. Let me get on with my questions. So Mr. Coelho, how do you respond to criticisms thrown at you saying that your books are nothing but a bunch of glorified self help books and that your writing is mediocre at best?
Paulo Coelho: A warrior of light who trusts too much in his intelligence will end up underestimating the power of his opponent.
Mike: Again Mr. Coelho I don’t see how that statment answers my question. But yeah whatever. Since we’re on this topic, why don’t we talk about this Warrior of the light thing. What is it with the black turtlenecks, the carefully groomed goatee and the fake sword?
Paulo Coelho: Tonight his eyes were shining-he looked wonderful.
Mike: You’re not even listening to my questions are you?
Paulo Coelho:—They were seeking out the treasure of their destiny, without actually wanting to live out their destiny.
Mike: So I could pretty much say whatever I want and get away with it because you’re too far gone with all your esoteric bullshit that you couldn’t even say anything that makes sense.
Paulo Coelho: The biggest mistake of the man is that he thinks he doesn’t deserve the good and the bad things from his life.
Mike: Well, Pablo, I’ve always wanted to say this to you: Can you like turn down the gayness? Just a notch dude? I mean the black turtleneck and the fake sword should go man.
Paulo Coelho: Why do we have to listen to our hearts? Because, wherever your heart is, that is where you’ll find your treasure.
Mike: Also, One of your books, The Zahir, was given to me as a present and guess what I did to it? I ripped it apart and used its pages to wipe shit from my pale white ass.
Paulo Coelho: The biggest mistake of the man is that he thinks he doesn’t deserve the good and the bad things from his life
Mike: And oh you know, By the river Piedra I sat down and wept is quite possibly the worst writing I’ve seen in my life. It has the complexity of a can of rocks and has about the same emotional impact as a mosquito bite.
Paulo Coelho: Be brave. Take risks. Nothing can substitute experience.
Mike: Fuck you dude. Do all of us a favor and stop writing books man because seriously, all who ever read your shit are pretentious, coffee house-going yuppies and corporate drones who spend their days sitting around cubicled offices in fancy chairs with their Starbucks commuter mugs.
Paulo Coelho: When you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it.
Mike: I want to punch you so much—
Paulo Coelho: Waiting is painful. Forgetting is painful. But not knowing which to do is the worse kind of suffering.
Mike:—And all the Paulo Coelho fanbois/fangirls who clog the aisles over at Powerbooks talking loudly about how you’re the best thing that happened to literature. Damn you! Damn all of you to hell!
Paulo Coelho: Everything that happens once can never happen again. But everything that happens twice will surely happen a third time.
Mike: I am going to hang myself now. Go back to beating on your bongos and lamenting about “sticking it to the man!” you hippie!
From this post:
I am asking all you delicious ladies out there to send us your photos while holding up a sign that says, “I love The Man Blog.” or anything to that effect.The 5 hottest, sexiest and/or naughtiest pics will be featured here on TMB and compete in an online poll for a whole week. We will treat the winner to a 10,000 peso shopping spree. No. I’m not kidding.
Now for some ground rules because I really don’t want to get sued. You need to be at least 18 years old to participate. All entries should be sent to: editors [at] man-blog [dot] com on or before November 30, 2006. All entries will become the property of TMB and by sending your picture to us, you give us express permission to use the said picture as we see fit. Photos that have been altered, digitally or otherwise will not be accepted. You can wear as much or as little clothing as you like, as long as it is tastefully sexy. I repeat, you do not need to be topless to join. We will unveil the top five pics on the 7th of December and we will announce the winner of the poll a full week later, just in time for her to do some Christmas shopping! Ok. Serious stuff done. So what are you waiting for? Get out those cameras and start clicking away!
To which Steel commented:
Also, we can throw in an all-expense paid dinner date with a man-blog editor(s)of the winner’s choice. I hope that doesn’t discourage anyone who’s planning to join.
Then I added:
Preferably me. The tagline for this contest would then be “Win 10 large, get to date an internet celebrity and go home feeling violated.”
Lots of great ideas were bounced off us including Richelle's:
haveshirts or stickers made so you can give them out as consolation prizes
Squid tells it as it is in his blog:
The nastiest bunch of internet retards in this steaming pile of Third World shit called the Philippines just came up with a new scheme to exploit women!The hottest gang of rising internet rockstars came up with a novel way to feature the beauty of women over at The Man Blog. What’s in it for you? Well, do the words TEN THOUSAND PESOS and SHOPPING SPREE ring any bells? Yeah, I bet they do. So what are you ladies waiting for? Details HERE!
And yes Roanne, the possibilities are indeed endless:
It’ll be a nice birthday treat if I win *hint, hint*. Plus, a date with the Man-Bloggersthat will probably end with me getting laid, or even gangbanged? Awesome.
What are you still doing sitting around? Think about it: 10 large. A dinner date. With me. Date rape. Jail time. Awesometown!
Mike "Fucking" Villar
"a Manila-based blogger made famous by his Atrocities of Friendster series, a regular feature he publishes on his blog where he mercilessly criticizes and mocks pictures of ugly people he stumbles upon on popular social networking site, Friendster. Although a lot of people are offended by what he writes, long-time readers of his blog regard him as a brilliant satire writer."
-Taken from my WikiBios page
