tiara, drunk

Saturday, February 24, 2007

I am so fucking hungover right now I swear to god. Right now, I'm sitting at my new corner office with a view (and by “corner office” I mean a cramped cubicle situated between a wall and a stack of broken computer monitors; and by “view” I mean a small bay window partially obstructed by a water tank and an electric pole. I know don't tell me, my life sucks) and I feel like every time I move my head, someone is hitting me in the back of the head with a baseball bat. It's not a shiny aluminum bat either, it's like an old, decrepit one held together by friction tape. Also, the baseball bat has termites or some shit.

It also doesn't help that it's so fucking hot today. I swear to god, whenever I step out of the office I can literally touch the heat with my hands. So you could imagine me in my little cubicle, hungover as a bitch, sweating and swearing profusely staring blankly at my computer screen which has a case study with all sorts of corporate-looking graphs and charts, pretending to be hard at work when in reality, when nobody's looking, I alt + tab to a web browser where I look at pictures of young girls with nothing but ill, lustful intent. (thanks to the location of my new cubicle, it's also harder for me to duck under the table and rub my bird whenever I get turned on looking at the aforementioned pictures but let's not talk about that)

Also, to douse any suspicions about my efficiency at work, I get up and walk up and down the office holding a stack of papers muttering something under my breath about how some people not doing their jobs makes things more difficult for other people. I am an asshole.

What am I doing hungover at work in the first place, you ask?

The answer: Glorious week night drinking. Glorious.

I was out with a bunch of office people last night to attend SEO Philippines' Ituloy Angsulong awards ceremony and to say that I had a good time would be an understatement because really, any night ending with me being way too bombed and being photographed by at least ten people wearing a tiara is definitely one for the ages.

The most awesome thing about drinking with people you work with is the dynamic of co-workers getting drunk and talking about stuff with people they shouldn't be talking about stuff with; and doing really silly stuff in front of people who can make or break their careers.

There was even this one guy in the party whom, only within minutes of drinking was a 500 peso bet away from jumping off the balcony with his t-shirt off to prove that it would make an excellent glider kinda like what Angelina Jolie used in Tomb Raider 2 despite the fact that said guy was about 150 lbs overweight.

That guy was me.

Also, who would've thought I would live to see the day Abe Olandares got jiggy with four scorching styling gel promo girls on stage? 

The rest of the night was a blur for me, I woke up this morning with a terrible headache and a bed drenched in urine.  Now, here I am in the office nursing a terrible hangover, cigarette burns on my arms (I swear to God, when I find out which of you assholes tripped on me last night, it's RAPE TIME for you and your family. Just kidding) and having only 2 hours left to pull my shit together because I am, yet again, going to attempt to destroy my body with alcohol with my friends later. 

Such an interesting life I live. Have a great weekend everyone!