The fact that 6CycleMind is getting more airplay when they should’ve just all died in shame after they committed that crime against humanity in the form of a song called Biglaan proves to a lot of us that there is indeed a god. And he hates us all.
Now all of us can turn on our car stereos on our way to work and enjoy the music of a band whose music sounds like a mix of a pretentious little imp having some sort of emotional seizure layered over sophomoric, fag-ternative-emo-rock crap. Their latest single Prinsesa, a remake of a 90’s cult hit by The Teeth, attempts to ride the bossa nova pony, fails miserably and ends up falling off, breaking its neck and becoming a quadriplegic dunce.
Much like their earlier singles Sige; the anthem for idiot construction worker fans drinking Tanduay in front of a sari-sari store with nothing but 15 pesos worth of coins in their pockets and the foreknowledge that they will be fired the day after by their Taiwanese contractors; and Sige Lang, a song only an acne-faced high school kid playing the gay best friend role to the prom queen while he secretly cries and masturbates at home while they talk on the phone could love; Prinsesa remains faithful to the trend of being 10% more annoying than the preceding single. I could imagine the band having this conversation in the studio:
Vocalist: I think we have created a masterpiece gentlemen.
Drummer: Dude, why don’t you try squeezing in an extra octave out of your voice?
Bassist: And try to sound gayer and whinier! Now THAT would make it perfect. Imagine, we remade a song that, in the first place, sucked hairy balls through a garden hose and gave it a bossa nova twist!
Guitarist: We are SO gonna sell a lot of records to our idiot fans!
Vocalist: You know what I was thinking? We should totally get naked and do things to ourselves that if the great Peter North walked in on us, he’d throw up his hands and shout! “Enough!” We should really explore our bodies!
Drummer/Bassist/Guitarist: RRRRRRrrrrape time!
Vocalist: shit.
6CycleMind’s musical career is defined by their consistency—a consistency which, sadly, means that their song writing process consists of recording the same goddamn song 30 times with little to no variation at all and spread it across two albums.
This says a lot about the credulousness of their idiot fans and the music-buying public alike. I mean, you have a band here that is a mishmash of pogi rock, grassroots poseuring, assembly line, commercialized “coolness” and abject faggotry enjoying tremendous airplay much to the dismay of the more discerning listeners like us here at The Man Blog. I swear to god, this band sucks so much that whenever any of their songs is played on the radio, I see green toxic stink rays emanating from my radio’s antenna.
I can only see two types of people listening to this trash: Idiots and fools. So a message to 6CycleMind’s idiot fans:
If you’re over 20, What the fuck are you doing listening to this crap? Did music murder your parents and the way you are exacting revenge on it is to spit on its face and insult it incessantly by listening to this…this…non-music? Fuck you.
And if you’re a beautiful high school ditz, it’s not yet too late to start listening to REAL music. When you hit college and you’re still listening to this insipid batter of pretense, you are pretty much doomed to have a life-long inclination towards horrible things and you will end up being impregnated by some jolog from Marikina and your baby would be REALLY REALLY retarded and weird. So think about that.
Whew. Anyway, to 6CycleMind and their invaluable contribution to Retard Rock- we award you the Short Bus award. Enjoy.
Mike "Fucking" Villar
"a Manila-based blogger made famous by his Atrocities of Friendster series, a regular feature he publishes on his blog where he mercilessly criticizes and mocks pictures of ugly people he stumbles upon on popular social networking site, Friendster. Although a lot of people are offended by what he writes, long-time readers of his blog regard him as a brilliant satire writer."
-Taken from my WikiBios page
