Alcoholism 2TM!

Saturday, April 21, 2007

Let me make a confession here: Ever since I lied to my psychiatrist about the state of my anxiety disorder and overall mental health, and successfully convinced her to take me off anti-depressants (Yet retain my prescription of Xanax and other benzodiazepines I could get high on. Yes. I'm very good at lying apparently), I've been drinking A LOT. 

I know this is not really news since everybody knows how much more I love alcohol than everybody else I've loved in my life but seriously, it has gotten much worse and, for the first time, I am acknowledging that THIS HAS GOT TO STOP.

The reason primarily being that my alcoholism is taking a serious toll on my life, particularly my work since I have this predilection for drinking on work nights. My hangovers have been nothing short of savage these past few days and I end up losing my focus at work because, more often than not, I am hungover like a bitch (Also sweaty and dirty. This morning I could literally smell my undercarriage through my jeans and for some reason my bird smells like a wet dog. But let's not talk about that)

I've been drinking so much that I noticed that I drank every single night this week and although I exaggerated a lot before, this is the worst it has gotten. Before, I really didn't drink on week days. At most, I drank about thrice a week but now I'm easily doing over like 20 liters of alcoholic beverages a week. I don't know how that translates to my daily average and frankly, I don't want to find out being that it might depress the shit out of me.

But guess what, I'm Mike "Fucking" Villar. And Mike "Fucking" Villar does not succumb to ANYTHING. Not even alchol. As I write this, I have a battle plan laid out and I am willing to subject myself to rigid discipline to curb my worsening alcoholism.

Here's what I've noticed: I've been drinking at least three Red Horses a night this past week–the problem presents itself of course after you throw back your third bottle: It's fucking hard not to have ANOTHER. 

I also noticed that I can pretty much stop drinking after my third bottle and be content, but if I have a fourth bottle, there's a GREAT chance that I'd go for another bottle. If I go for a fifth bottle, the chances are I am going to go for a sixth and when I go for a sixth bottle of red horse, nobody wins. When I throw back 6 bottles of Red Horse beer, it almost ends up with somebody getting arrested, and somebody's life and genitals being destroyed.

So the solution, I think, is to set three bottles as my absolute limit as far as daily drinking would go. I know this doesn't sound like much effort, but the important thing here, you assholes, is that I am doing SOMETHING about my alcoholism. Baby steps people. I'll get there.

P.S. I just realized that breaking up with my girlfriend pretty much destroyed whatever little chance I had left of getting laid this year. And because I'm in the middle of a maddening dry spell, I'm considering going to jail in exchange for getting to rape some random 17 year old (gender doesn't matter anymore).  I mean it's not so bad, think about it:

1.) I will have masturbatory fodder for the rest of my life (I got to have sex with a minor AND got to have buttsecks with my Visayan cell mate EVERY NIGHT while I serve my 30-year sentence)

and 

2.) I get to skip work. Because fuck it, work is so stressful nowadays.

(I just reread this entire post and oh my God, what am I saying? Seriously people, I'm still sane. Still.)

P.P.S.

I have a new phone number guys! TXT ME AT +639174382372 NO GAYS PLZ!