The past few days have been nothing short of awesome for me. I know you get a lot of bitching from me about how terrible my hangover is on Saturdays, and I know I should stop already; but I wont, because I, yet again, am hungover like a bitch.
I am not going to bore you with details about how I got hungover since I'm really tired and sweaty and all I want to do really is languish away in my cubicle and watch the minutes go by while sipping a soda and cursing like a fucker.
But let's not let the hangover ruin the positivity here. Like I said, The past few days have been totally awesome for me. Friends, I'd like you to be the first to know that I, Mike "Fucking" Villar, can now add a new title/distinction to my long list of life achievements.
Starting today, April 28th 2007, "Worst maker of financial decisions" will be placed on a section in my resume between "Once masturbated while talking to a PLDT Customer care representative" and "Can ejaculate without sexual stimulation"
Okay let's backtrack a few steps here: We all know that Citibank is holding my brother Ryan hostage until I pay off my ginormous credit card debts with them right? Also, I adopted a really slow/retarded vietnamese kid named sip-sip to fill in for my brother's place whenever I get lonely and want somebody to scratch my armpits to sleep right?
Now, I don't know whose dick I sucked (I suck too many apparently), but HSBC just gave me a GOLD VISA with a credit limit of PhP 100,000 which may not be much for you, imperialist American reader, but is really a huge amount for us 3rd world monkeys you outsource your manufacturing jobs to.
I'm not sure if you see the impact of this in my life. Me applying for another credit card after CitiBank goons killed one of my kittens and burned our town church is quite possibly, the worst financial decision I have ever made in my entire life. I mean, it's only been a few days since I got a hold of the card but already, I estimate my credit debts to be somewhere around 10% of my credit limit. (Around PhP 10,000 for you non-math, non-smart people)
See, the problem with me is I translate "Credit Limit" to "Electronic money I want to spend on useless things simply because I can." True enough, checking my credit card statement online after mere days, I found the following items:
Jesus Christ. Do you guys see what's happening here? At the rate I'm going, HSBC will end up kidnapping my mom and probably sip-sip too until I pay up. Also, this makes me more unmarriable since, even though I'm cute and all (let's just play along), women will be afraid to marry me because after I die, I'd leave them and my posterity hundreds of thousands worth of Credit Card bills.
Help.
Anyway, for what it's worth, here's the link to my Flickr photo page:
Mike "Fucking" Villar
"a Manila-based blogger made famous by his Atrocities of Friendster series, a regular feature he publishes on his blog where he mercilessly criticizes and mocks pictures of ugly people he stumbles upon on popular social networking site, Friendster. Although a lot of people are offended by what he writes, long-time readers of his blog regard him as a brilliant satire writer."
-Taken from my WikiBios page
